Nollwood actress and TV host, Chinonso Arubayi, has narrated how social expectation drove her into depression following her husband’s death, Eric Arubayi.
Arubayi, in this week’s episode of #WithChude, the actress opened up to host and co-founder of Joy, Inc., Chude Jideonwo about dealing with grief, struggling with social expectations and her faith following the sudden death of her husband.
Gospel Singer, Eric Arubayi, died suddenly in February 2017 at the age of 34 due to complications arising from the administration of expired malaria drugs. He had been married to Chinonso for three years.
Chinonso revealed that she felt slighted by God; she found herself asking, “How am I going to deal with this, God? This is not what you promised me.”
Amid that crisis, Chinonso, who is also an accomplished make-up artist, was faced with another battle – society’s expectations of how she must grieve.
“I fell into depression. I felt judged.
I’ll hear things like, “she was not crying.”
There are so many ways the society expects you to grieve in Africa,” she said.
She continued: “at that point, I was trying to please society. So I was like, what am I supposed to do? Some people said to wear white, some said to wear white, and some said you don’t have to [because] you’re a Christian.” It was overwhelming to keep up with the pace of unsolicited counsel, “it was too many opinions and everybody is telling you how to grieve or what you’re doing wrong or right.”
She has since picked up the pieces and is moving on, even though as she revealed, “I love him. I still think of him as my husband even though people address me as the Late Eric’s wife.”