10th May, 2016
To thousands of women who are in abusive and violent relationship and who continued to bear the brunt of domestic violence, wife of Lagos State governor, Mrs. Bolanle Ambode, has a sound advice: Abandon the marriage and flee for your life so that you can live to tell your story.
Mrs Ambode condemned in the strongest possible terms, the vexed issue of domestic violence which has continued to rear its ugly head in the state and across the country.
She made the denunciation in Alausa, Ikeja, against the backdrop of one Mr. Lekan Shonde, who allegedly beat his wife to death at the couple’s home in Egbeda suburb of the state.
Mrs. Ambode lamented that domestic violence in the form of assault on wife, child-beating and other forms of uncivilized behavior against women and children, seems to have become an attraction for some men who are still living in primitive times.
She described as totally unacceptable, a situation where a man would callously turn his wife to a punching bag on the flimsy excuse that the helpless woman had either insulted him or refused to carry out his orders.
In her words, “How do you explain a situation where the man you married and one who claims to love you, would descend so heavily on you at the slightest provocation; if he is not complaining about delayed dinner, it is another flimsy excuse that is not tenable anywhere. They do it every now and then even to the extent of killing the helpless woman. For how long will this go on?”
The visibly distraught wife of the governor, advised any woman who found herself in an abusive relationship to retrace her steps, so that she could live to tell her own story.
While rejecting the common and worn out excuse of societal stigmatization of women who abandoned unpleasant marriages, Ambode retorted that when the woman dies in such a cruel marriage, what then does the society say?
According to her, “Many victims of domestic violence also become victims of their own psychological realities. The world of these women is lonely, isolated and filled with fear, with no emotional outlet whatsoever. Sadly, victims wait until it is too late.”
“We should cease to treat domestic violence as a case of family affair in order not to involve ourselves. The fact that our society is patriarchal and a value sanctioned by culture is not enough reason for this epidemic called Domestic Violence.”
She maintained that domestic abuse should not only be perceived as a social problem, but also viewed as a criminal act.
Mrs. Ambode however commiserated with all victims of domestic violence, including families of those that died, urging all women facing similar ordeal to approach the state’s Office of the Public Defender, Ministry of Justice, Ministry of Youth & Social Development or the Ministry of Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation for legal assistance at no cost.