14th February, 2013
Saint Valentine’s Day, popularly known as Lovers’ Day is here again. Nigerians, like their counterparts in other parts of the world, have been shopping for gifts for their lovers. While some have even booked hotel rooms, others have been thinking of that posh rendezvous where their partners will be given a one in a lifetime treat.
However, some celebrities such as Martins Okey Justice, also known as JMartins; Nigerian R&B soul singers and identical brothers, Peter and Paul Okoye, with the stage name, P-Square; stand-up comedienne, popularly known as Tatafo, Helen Paul; popular presenter and actor, Yemi Sodimu and his colleague in the entertainment industry, Stella Damasus see the Lover’s Day beyond the glitter of cards, flowers, jewellery, boxes of candy or sharing of expensive gifts. Rather they believe the day serves as a wonderful opporturnity to show and reinforce their love to the people they care about.
J Martins said: “I usually spend the day with the less priviledged but unfortunately I’m very busy today. The significant of Valentine’s Day is to put smile on the faces of the people around you, especially the less priviledged.”
Similarly, Peter Okoye of P-Square told P.M.NEWS that since the day is to show love to people, they will spend it with family, friends and some of their fans.
He said:“The significance of the day is to put smile on the faces of people and that is what we will do.”
For Helen Paul, she would be with her family and has invited some friends and fans to come and have fun at her bridal boutique. She added that she would be parting with some gifts to celebrate the day.
But for Damasus, it would be all about her family. According to the actress and singer, “On Val’s Day, I would be at my office and when my kids come back from school, we willl all have dinner.”
When asked what St. Valentine’s means to Sodimu, the former Ogun State Secial Adviser to the governor on Communication and Protocol matters, he said: “It is about showing love to one another. But for me, my wife first, then my children.”
Another Nigerian actress, Hailma Abubakar, said she does not celebrate St. Valentine’s Day.
“ There is no time table for love. I celebrate love everyday because I have too much love to give,” she said.
However, to some people, 14 February is a day meant to be spent with the opposite sex at bars, night clubs and perhaps, behind closed doors. And this belief seems to have been the order of the day from one generation to another.
Medical doctors have confirmed that after Valentine’s Day, they record more cases of unwanted pregnancies, and sadly enough too, abortions, mostly among teenagers. Such is the case of Lara [not real names] that lost her precious asset- virginity, all in a bid to ‘make it up’ for her boyfriend on Valentine’s Day.
She got pregnant weeks later and had no choice than to go for an abortion. They felt that was imperative because the guy in question was just a final year secondary school student.
Lara acknowledged the fact that as a young girl, she was actually blind-folded by the razzmatazz attached to Val’s Day.
According to her, “the impression most of us had then is that it is a day when you must be with your boyfriend, and perhaps, have sex in the process. Some of my friends also had similar problems that I had because we believed it was a sin to say ‘no’ to your boyfriend on Val’s Day. That is why I have taken it as a duty to be sensitising our youths, the female in particular, about the significance of the day.”
Thank God, Lara is now a counsellor, but what if she had her womb damaged or even died from complications resulting from the abortion? Apparently, there are thousands of Nigerian teenagers that have found themselves in such difficult situation simply because they had no proper orientation of what or how the Valentine’s Day should be celebrated.
Ignorantly, some guys would look for flimsy excuses to quarrel with their girlfriends, simply because they can’t afford to buy her the best gifts or they have the financial constraints to trip her at Silverbird Galleria or Shoprite among other posh fun havens.
In respect of this, popular comedian, Julius Agwu said if you must celebrate the V-Day with your female partner, you don’t necessarily need to buy her the most expensive gift or take her to a place that is beyond your financial capability.
“But you can show that you appreciate her with good poems, greeting cards, or even send a creative mobile text message to her. The whole idea of it is to let the person know that you appreciate him or her,” Agwu reiterated.
While some guys have blamed the situation on Nigerian ladies, who are more demanding, unlike their white counterparts, ladies described men who find themselves in such mess as lousy ones.
According to Efe Imafidon, a club DJ, “abroad, guys give their partners anything like flowers and greeting cards as gifts on Valentine’s Day. It could even be a simple hug and the lady would be on cloud nine, but it is the reverse in Nigeria. The only card a Nigerian girl will collect from you now is recharge card. She would see you as the biggest fool if you present her a greeting card or flower.”
But as for Lola Omotayo, it would be wrong to generalise on this matter because there are still Nigerian ladies that appreciate simple gifts from people on such occasions. She made reference to when her relationship with Peter Okoye of P Square fame started.
Lola said she fell in love with the music star because on a particular Val Day, “he was the first person that came to my house. When I opened the door after hearing the door bell ring, I was surprised to see him. He only came with a guitar and played one of his love songs for me. I actually felt so special that day.”
Perhaps, because of the varying opinions as to the origin of the Valentine’s Day, many people seem to have lost grip of its significance, particularly as it relates to the modern day norms.
—Bayo Adetu