Jaiye On My Mind

25 14
Stella Damasus

I sat in my bedroom the whole of Sunday 2 December feeling very funny and low. After asking myself what the trigger was, I remembered that I always get like that a day to the 3 December every year for the past eight years.

I had the opportunity and rare privilege of being the wife and partner of the most wonderful, loving, industrious, God-fearing and kind man. Life could not have been better than that because I was living every woman’s dream.

The best of everything was at my disposal whether I lifted a finger to work or not. We had our ups and downs as usual but making up and resolving our issues, was magical. I was blessed with the best husband and father and his name is JAIYE ABODERIN.

He was the love of my life and the one who did everything humanly possible to protect his family. Even in the face of all sorts of problems, all sorts of accusations, all sorts misconceptions, he was one who understood the true meaning of for better or worse.

Jaiye passed away on 3 December, 2004, at a time our dreams and projects were about to kick off. I was 26 with two lovely children and eight thousand naira in my account.

Let me not sound like a broken record because I have told this story many times.

The one thing I would like to say is that his life taught me unconditional love and his death taught me kindness. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to share his air, his thoughts, dreams, hopes, love, friendship and much more.

I have since discovered that if a marriage is not based on trust and friendship and most importantly, the love of God, then I am sorry it will never stand the test of time. I have been there and I know how things can fail right before your eyes without those elements.So, today I celebrate a man of the people,

I celebrate a man who stood by his family through thick and thin,

I celebrate a man who touched and saved lives,

I celebrate a man who was a hero to all who knew him,

I celebrate a man who was a father to all who knew him,

I celebrate a man who loved unconditionally,

I celebrate a man who believed in sharing and caring,

I celebrate a man who put a smile on people’s faces,

I celebrate a man who was so full of life,

I celebrate a man who brought people together and created friendships even in death,

I celebrate a man who was a bigger star in his own right than most of us,

I celebrate a man who celebrated people without holding back

And I celebrate a man who will always be celebrated.

Rest in peace OBIM, the girls will always remember you and pray for your soul to rest in God’s arms. You will always be in my heart and the love I have for you will never ever die.

It has been eight years but it feels like only yesterday. Instead of crying I choose to celebrate you.

To those of you reading this, remember to give God glory for the life well spent no matter how short. He was a very happy man who hated gloomy faces. As you remember him please wear a smile and pray to God. He will love that very much.

God bless you all, now and always.


A quote I got from JAIYE: No matter how many times you fall, as long as you are alive, you still have a chance to get up and try again.


  1. evelyn

    Stella,ure rily a strong woman,i salute your courage and admire your simplicity.uve touched my life and mny odas’ evn though ive neva met u one-on -one.i hop some day u’ll find true love and re-marry.May jaiye’s soul continue to RIP

  2. ainy

    May his soul rest in peace!

  3. Mr Nottrue

    For 8 years you morn the Love of your life. That is enough, You have to move on in life and build another relationship if the right man comes., but my fear is that it will be difficult for you to build a good and lasting relationship unless you let go of the paqssion and emotion you hold for your late love. death is a debth every one has to pay. You are not getting younger and beauty fads. wealth does not also buy love so move on and develope another relationship and be useful to your new Love after -all your girls needs a brother or another Little Sister. 8 years? A beg you don try. Move on please

  4. Ayo

    Hi Stella,
    I totally agree with all you wrote about jaiye. I was privy to come to your First Daughters Birthday at an event center on Adeniyi Jones that lovely day and that was closest opportunity i came to knowing him. I will always remember that Carlos Santana’s hit song(maria maria) that he sang with his group and they substituted Maria maria for your daughters name.
    I wish you well and the Girls the best.
    Thank God for Jaiye. A life well spent.

  5. Ibadan Pickin

    Sorry…..stella….God is with you.

  6. joe

    I do not know you,but my family thoughts are with you,and we will continue to remember you and your daughters in our prayers. God will protect you and your daughters.Have your trust in the living God you are serving. It is well with you.If you or your kids need help no matter what PLEASE let us know. God will continue to comfort you all.

  7. Nnenna

    Its really sad, very sad loosing a love one. My thoughts are with u. Take heart

  8. Adeola

    Dear Stella, one thing I want you to know is that Jaiye might’ve end up so badly, if he aged more than that, But he left when the ovation was loudest for him. and was well celebrated. He Jaiye is a winner, conqueror. He was well loved by everyone. He’s burial can attest to that.. Jaiye continue to rest in the Lord…………

  9. Teekay

    @Wale, don’t be irrational. Do you want her to remain widowed forever? Remember, she’s human..and she has feelings. God forbid! but if you lose your wife at a young age, won’t you remarry? No one has any right to condemn her. Do you think she would *voluntarily go into a marriage that would fail? If her second marriage didn’t work, that was how it was meant to be.

  10. Evans

    I join you to celebrate this man.
    I love your courage and simple nature.
    May God of all-sufficiency continue to prove HIS all-sufficiency in you family.

  11. Olan

    Dear Stella,

    I must confess, this will be the first time I’ll take some time to read your article. I felt bad the way Amara simply disappeared without any announcement so sort of lost interest in the column entirely.

    I’ve always felt that you have a compelling story and it’s good to discover that you’re truly warm and humane not only on set but in real life.

    This piece is spot on and quite appreciated. It’s simple and straight to the point. Anyone who has suffered the lost of a loved one like you will know exactly what you mean.

    I pray that God will continue to hold you and strengthen you. He’s more than capable to fill the void left by the passing on of your beloved husband.

    Just like Apostle Paul will say in the bible 1st Corinthians 15:19 – “If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men” – and I hope you agree with me.

    Sometimes when I look at things like this, I say to myself – This had better not be the end. Definitely there must be somewhere better within our reach after this life. And thank God, heaven is real.

    With the right relationship with Him. We’ll see them again! You’ll see him again.

  12. Wale


    I wish I can believe this poem is not just rhetoric. How many marriages and children have come in only after 8 years of Jaiye’s death???

    I will love to know if Dele Giwa’s wife has re-married.

  13. JO

    I am very sorry Stella Damasus to read about the passing of your loved one 8 years ago. God has a reason for everything. He never make mistakes like us human. Your piece is so touching as you always write! Stay blessed because He who watches over Isreal will not sleep nor slumber..

  14. Debo A

    RIP Jaiye. I do feel you Ms Stella Damasus. Our thoughts are with you.

  15. otitokoro (truth-is-bitter)

    So touching! It is well with you and your daughters!

Comments are closed.

More from PM NEWS