14th October, 2011
Popular P.M.NEWS columnist, Amara Blessing Nwosu, speaks to Simon Ateba about relationships, her personal experience and her forthcoming, thought-provoking books to be launched in Lagos on 11 November
There are so many books written daily. Why do you think the world needs another book written by you?
I think we are all different in our ways. From my columns in the newspaper, not just Nigerians, even Americans and Europeans are all waiting for my books. They have all been calling me to know when my books are going to come out. They have been asking: ‘Why not put these things together and let’s have a book?’ I think people are expecting my books because of the way I write. I don’t just write like every other person. It’s something you find so easy to understand. I put it down in such a way that even an uneducated market woman would be able to read and understand it.
Those who read you, especially on the internet are two categories of people, your critics and your fans. Your fans believe and love your blunt way of writing while the critics say you sound like a bitter person who was once heart-broken.
Well, I think that’s me. I like saying things the way they are; I don’t like mincing words; even in my own relationship with my kids, my spouse and everybody. I say things the way they are. I don’t say things to please anybody, even in the church. So, everybody knows that Amara is a straight forward person and whatever I feel, I say it. I don’t have to put it to suit you. I don’t have to put it your own way. That’s me and that’s is the way I write. I say things the way I see them and I’m sorry if people get me wrong. I’m not trying to display an holier than thou attitude even if I am guilty of those things. I shouldn’t be saying something I know is not right when I know the right thing.
What are the books all about?
The books have some sections on ethics, habits and relationship, especially relationship and search for beauty.
What are the titles of the books, how many pages and what makes them different from other books?
I wanted to give the books a different title but with the advice of Senator Babafemi Ojudu, I gave them the titles of my two columns in P.M.NEWS: Women’s Grooming and Men’s Grooming. They are two different books.
What makes them different from other books that are written on relationships daily?
As I said, there is not too much grammar or trying to make people go into fantasy world to seek something that is not real. The books were written with Nigerians in mind. They are thing that you read and understand; that these things are happening around me. It is not something boring, it is not something strange. So, whatever you are going to read in the books is something you are already used to.
Where are the books published and when is the launching taking place?
The books are currently published in the UK, by a London publishing firm. The book launch is on 11 November, 2011. Actually, my fans were like saying: ‘Amara are you aware that your date is eleven eleven?’
A lot of relationships are collapsing. What do you think is responsible for this?
I think, from my own experience, I had a bitter experience in terms of relationship. That’s why I try to put these things in writing for people not to experience the same things. It took God’s grace for me to be alive today. But what I went through I can tell you that if anybody reads that book and the person ends up making the same mistake, it means the person wants to be dead, the person does not wish himself or herself well. The books are for people to learn from my personal experience because I was just 17 years when I found myself in marriage with a strange person and all that.
That means that you have been married more than once. Tell us about it?
Have been married more than once? No, I have been married just once.
Are you still married to the same person you were married to when you were 17?
We are no longer together. I have my kids with me and I have a man in my life who I intend to get married to very soon.
Tell us about the first relationship
That is something I would not want to do because I think it’s something personal. There are things I try not to talk about for the sake of my kids. So many people misunderstand. It’s like; ‘Oh she is not married, why should…’ But one thing I know is that I was the best wife anybody can ever ask for because even from my text messages, the messages he sent me recently, they are in my phone. I can show you where he said: ‘You are a woman of God. You love God, I just don’t know what went wrong.’ He was misled by friends. He did not understand what a relationship was all about and I started praying to God to save me from the marriage because I knew that divorce was not an option as far as my dad is concerned. This is because my dad is a pastor. Divorce wasn’t an option and I wasn’t going to my family. I wanted a divorce so I was in there losing my life gradually. But I got to a point where I was praying to God to please take me out of this and supernaturally, it happened. I went to the office and on getting back home, I found I was locked out of the house. I did not go back to fight for anything. I did not take my clothes did not come out with anything but with only my children.
How long were you married?
I was married for 13 years and nine months.
How many children did you have for him?
I have four kids; two boys and two girls.
Do you now have kids in your second relationship?
No. We intend having.
Your critics say you sound like a bitter person.
I can’t be bitter with any person. In fact, we still talk.