P.M. NEWS Nigeria » Marriage and Romance http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com First with Nigeria News - Nigerian leading evening Newspaper - Sat, 13 Sep 2014 20:55:40 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0 Physically Challenged Couple Weds In Lagos http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/09/08/physically-challenged-couple-weds-in-lagos/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/09/08/physically-challenged-couple-weds-in-lagos/#comments Mon, 08 Sep 2014 13:16:08 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=210690 Kazeem Ugbodaga

Two physically challenged groom and bride have wedded at the Lagos State Vocational Rehabilitation Centre for Persons with Disabilities, Owutu, Ikorodu area of Lagos, southwest Nigeria.

A Baptist pastor joined the couple in holy matrimony at a well attended wedding also witnessed by officials of the Lagos Office of Youth and Social Development recently.

The physically challenged couple, Simiat Abiola and Dare Akinyemi, tied the conjugal knot to the admiration of all the guests. While Abiola is 20 years old, Akinyemi is 42 years.

Akinyemi has speech impairment and has extremely low intelligence quotient, IQ, while his wife also has low IQ and cannot write her name despite several years of coaching.

This was why their marriage was declared special, being one of the few to have taken place at the centre.

•Abiola and Akinyemi during their wedding

•Abiola and Akinyemi during their wedding

Principal of the centre, Mrs Folusho Adeolu, said the centre had been taking care of children with special needs since it was established in 1997.

“The bride and groom are not like other children. Simiat, I was told, was fostered at Idi-Araba by a woman who later died before she was brought here. She went through school up to JSS but cannot write her name because of her condition.

“One of our ex-trainees took interest in her. He also has speech impairment. We did all the proper wedding for them, from traditional wedding to church wedding. A Baptist pastor came here to wed them,” she explained.

The principal said the sister of the groom offered to look after them because of their vulnerability.

“They will be living together, but close to the house of his sister. The groom learnt shoe making from our centre, so he is going to fend for his wife,” she said.

Adeolu stated that some of the people brought to the centre had very low IQ at the initial period, but that after lots of mentoring, they improved.

She added that the next stage is to re-integrate the couple into the society, so that the husband and wife could adapt to a new life of marriage and family.

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I Can’t Marry In Nollywood Again, Says Actress Chika http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/09/05/i-cant-marry-in-nollywood-again-says-actress-chika/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/09/05/i-cant-marry-in-nollywood-again-says-actress-chika/#comments Fri, 05 Sep 2014 14:48:47 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=210294 Kayode Aponmade

Nollywood actress, Chika Ike has revealed that she does not wish to marry from Nollywood again in her bid to ensure a better understanding.

“Personally, I would not want my lover to be in the same industry with me, so that we can have a balanced family,” the actress said.

•Chika Ike

•Chika Ike

Chika added that she cannot imagine marrying somebody having her type of schedules.

“It will be very difficult to manage such and that’s the reason I admire Joke Silva and Olu Jacobs. It’s amazing how they handled it over the years,” she stated.

Chika, who recently held an audition for her upcoming TV reality show, The African Diva, is one of the most controversial actresses in the industry.

The actress, who broke up with her husband in 2011 due to reported irreconcilable differences, have been linked with some men, some in highly places.

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Man Hires Assassins To Kill Ex-Wife http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/09/01/man-hires-assassins-to-kill-ex-wife/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/09/01/man-hires-assassins-to-kill-ex-wife/#comments Mon, 01 Sep 2014 12:52:10 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=209569 Cyriacus Izuekwe

Abiodun Atinuke: arrives court after allegations that he paid for his wife to be assassinated

Abiodun Atinuke: arrives court after allegations that he paid for his wife to be assassinated

A jilted man, Abiodun Atinuke, has been arrested and charged before Ijeshatedo Magistrates’ Court sitting in Lagos State, western Nigeria, for allegedly hiring assassins to kill his ex-wife.

The 34-year old suspect allegedly hired three men now at large and paid them an undisclosed amount of money to assassinate his ex-wife Eniola for dumping him for another man six months after their marriage.

Antinuke, who hails from Ogun State, married Eniola from Ilorin in Kwara State, but they broke up six months later.

Angered by her action, Atinuke allegedly took suspected assassins to 15, Ogunmokun Street, Mushin, Lagos, where Eniola lives after she left his house and asked them to kill her.

•Abiodun and Eniola at their wedding six months ago

•Abiodun and Eniola at their wedding six months ago

Eniola managed to escape and reported the matter to the police at Olosan Division.

Subsequently, Atinuke was arrested but his accomplices fled.

When interrogated by the police, it was reported that Atinuke did not deny the allegation.

He said trouble started after they got married and Eniola started behaving strangely and was coming home late.

He said he confirmed his suspicion when he caught his wife with her lover.

The suspect said that when he confronted Eniola, instead of showing remorse, she packed out of their matrimonial home and moved into her lover’s house.

Subsequently, Atinuke was charged before the court for conspiracy and conduct likely to breach public peace.

When he was arraigned, he pleaded not guilty.

The presiding magistrate, Mrs. Abegunde Davis, granted him bail in the sum of N50,000 with two sureties in like sum.

However, Atinuke was remanded in prison custody at Kirikiri, Lagos pending when he will perfect his bail conditions. The matter was adjourned till 24 September, 2014.

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Why Nigerian Women Don’t Use Condom http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/08/29/why-nigerian-women-dont-use-condom/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/08/29/why-nigerian-women-dont-use-condom/#comments Fri, 29 Aug 2014 13:17:09 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=209260 Eromosele Ebhomele & Samson Uwala

Apart from pure hatred for the female condom, many Nigerian women are either ignorant of its existence or do not see it as pleasurable during sex, P.M.NEWS finding has revealed.

Invented by a Danish Medical Doctor, Lassa Hessel, first manufactured in the U.S. by the Female Health Company and approved for use by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration in 1993, the female condom is not only a device against sexually transmitted diseases, but was supposed to be a major contraceptive without side effects.

However, as huge as the population of women is in Nigeria, some medical experts and counsellors told our correspondents that very few women in the country had tried it.

“If you assess 100 women, don’t be surprised that only two would tell you they had used it either once or twice. Again, those who have used it may just have experimented. So it is not like they are consistent in using it,” Mrs. Titilayo Adebayo, said a marriage counsellor with one of the new generation churches in Lagos, western Nigeria.

Mrs. Adebayo explained that many of the women were not quite aware of the existence of female condoms and where some are aware, they may not have seen it.

P.M.NEWS learnt that this ignorance is not only common among the less literate, but cuts across.

The low awareness could also have resulted from the fact that unlike the male condom which can be bought anywhere, the female condom is not accessible and can mostly be found in hospitals and other health centres.

Tejumola Omolaja, a 32-year-old mother of two, told P.M.NEWS that she had only seen the female condom once and that was during the ante-natal for her second child.

“That day, the female health worker taught us how to use it to prevent pregnancies and how it could be used against contracting sexually transmitted diseases.

“But many of us were put off because the procedure is cumbersome. Unlike the male condom which you just fix when the man is ready, the woman passes through many ‘festivities’ trying to insert the female condom into her vagina,” she said.

Female condom

Female condom

Dupe Okeowo, a computer operator, has only seen a photograph of the female condom on the internet. She has not seen it physically but disclosed that she could try it if she eventually finds one.

A female lawyer, who refused to disclose her name, said she would never use the female condom because it hinders the pleasure that comes with love-making.

The woman, who said she got a free condom during an enlightenment campaign by a non-governmental organisation last year, explained that it was not a palatable experience using it.

“I decided to experiment with it, but believe me, it was not enjoyable at all. That night was terrible. My husband waited endlessly for me to insert it and when I finally did, there was no pleasure derived.

“At a time, I had to take it out so as not to frustrate my husband,” she said

She explained that the female condom has two rings at both ends. While one of the rings is inserted into the vagina, the other ring stays outside the vagina during intercourse.

She said it is preferable for men to use condoms since the use of male condom does not stop the man or woman from reaching their points of excitement.

Nkechi Obi, a commercial sex worker in Lagos, confessed that she had never seen a female condom since she began her trade four years ago.

While speaking with our correspondent at the Agege area of the state, she maintained that commercial sex workers prefer the male condom.

“Many of those we work together have not seen or used the female condom before. Though I have heard of it, I have not seen or touched one.

“What we make use of is the male condom, it is cheap and affordable. Gold Circle is between N30 and N50. We all have packs. So when a customer doesn’t come with a condom, we give him one,” she said.

Findings show that while the male condom goes for between N30 and N200 and come in different brands and between four and 12 per pack, a pack of female condoms could go for between N1,000 and N1,500 depending on where it is being sold.

“This could also be one of the reasons women get discouraged about the female condom,” a nurse who simply gave her name as Mrs. Toyin, told P.M.NEWS.

Explaining reasons why she would not use the female condom, a teacher, Josephine Jaiyeola, said the time it takes to get it fixed is a major discouraging factor.

“Moreover, for a woman to be able to successfully insert it, she must be fully lubricated. What then would happen if you find a man that  is not patient enough for you?

“Some men would even take their reasoning beyond the ordinary when they see you wearing one during love-making. For me, it is a no no. I can’t use it,” she said.

Surprisingly, however, some of the women who responded to P.M.NEWS’ inquiry, said they do not like the use of condom even by men during intercourse.

“If my husband talks about using condoms, it simply means there is an issue with trust,” Mrs. Justina Ini, a fashion designer, said.

“There are other ways we can prevent pregnancy and this includes family planning,” she said.

Veronica Areola, Assistant Director for the Centre for Research on Women and Gender at the University of Illinois, Chicago, noted that apart from price, the female condom is not being used in the U.S. due to social stigma about the product and lack of education on how to use it.

“I don’t know how many people know that these female condoms are available,” she said in one of her published opinions.

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Man Sacks Wife, Marries Woman With 7 Kids http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/08/22/man-sacks-wife-marries-woman-with-7-kids/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/08/22/man-sacks-wife-marries-woman-with-7-kids/#comments Fri, 22 Aug 2014 09:50:58 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=208127 Cyriacus Izuekwe

An embattled housewife, Adeteju Olaniyi, has narrated before a Lagos court how her husband, Folayan, threw her and their three children out of their matrimonial home and brought in a strange woman who already had seven children as wife.

Adeteju narrated that her efforts to return to her matrimonial home at Coker Estate, Shasha, Lagos State, western Nigeria, proved abortive as the woman, Anita Okumagba, attacked and broke her head before chasing her away from the home.

Adeteju gave this narration while presenting her case before the Ejigbo Magistrate’s Court.

She alleged that their 14-year old marriage crashed after Anita came into her husband’s life.

She said that her husband abandoned their three children and took over the training of Anita’s children.

Adeteju said that while their children could not continue their education due to lack of money, her husband takes care of the education of Anita’s children.

She told the court presided over by Mr P.E. Nwaka that her matrimonial problem began in January when her husband asked her and the children to pack out of their house, which they did.

She alleged that while she moved into an uncompleted building with the children at Orisunbare area, Anita moved into their matrimonial home with her children.

Adeteju said she discovered that Anita was living with her husband when she went back to the house to find out what was happening to her husband.

The complainant said she introduced herself to Anita as Folayan’s wife and requested to pack her remaining property from the house, but Anita refused which led to an argument between them.

Adeteju alleged that Anita became enraged and beat her up and in the process broke her head.

She said the matter was reported to the police at Idimu division who arrested Anita and charged her to court for assault.

She disclosed that the police made every effort for her husband to take care of their children but he refused to do so.

When Anita was arraigned in court, she pleaded not guilty to the charge.

She was granted bail in the sum of N20,000 with one surety in like sum.

The matter was adjourned till 1 September for continuation of trial.

When our correspondent contacted the husband in court, he denied remarrying Anita as claimed by his wife

He, however, confirmed that Anita with her children rented an apartment in his house.

 Similarly, Anita told our correspondent that she was only a tenant in the house.

She affirmed that she rented the apartment through an agent.

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‘My Husband Slept With My Best Friend’ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/08/21/my-husband-slept-with-my-best-friend/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/08/21/my-husband-slept-with-my-best-friend/#comments Thu, 21 Aug 2014 13:21:20 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=207997 A laboratory technician, Modupe Ajayi, on Wednesday told an Igando Customary Court, Lagos, that she once caught her husband in bed with her best friend.

Modupe, 40, was responding to Ajayi’s petition, urging the court to dissolve his 12-year old marriage for alleged threat to life and lack of respect from the respondent.

“My husband is a shameless man. He slept with my best friend. My husband is a womaniser, I caught him making love to my best friend in her house.

“I refused to employ any house help again as he has turned them into sex machines,” Modupe said.

She said that she stopped having sex with Ajayi, 50, since September because “I always had sexual infection some days after he made love to me.

“I stopped making love to him and I stopped washing his clothes when I discovered that I always see and smell sperm on his boxers,” she said.

The mother of three said that days after their wedding, her husband abandoned her to stay with another woman after telling her that he wanted to travel to the village to see his father.

“I called his father when he did not show up for days, but his father told me that he did not see my husband.”

Modupe said that she later found the telephone number of the lady in question in her husband’s handset and she called her to leave her husband alone.

“After the warning, my husband rushed home, dragged me naked out of the bathroom, beat me up for calling his girlfriend. It was my brother-in-law that ran out to cover my nakedness.”

The respondent, therefore, urged the court to grant her husband’s petition, saying that she was no longer interested in the marriage.

The petitioner had told the court that his wife always threatened his life with dangerous weapons.

“Whenever we are fighting she always picks up knife or other sharp objects to stab me,” he said.

He described Modupe as a pompous, disrespectful and arrogant woman.

“She is so full of herself and does not have respect for me despite all I have done for her. I bought her four cars within our 12 years of marriage yet she does not have regard for me.

“She does things without telling me. She even travelled out of Nigeria without my consent.

According to him, his wife has made his house miserable for him as she fights him and always ‘rain’ curses on me.

The petitioner accused his wife of living an extravagant life with lots of money spent on luxury items such as jewellery.

He said that he would have divorce her two-years ago, but he thought she would change for the better only to discover that it was worsening.

“Her behaviour became unbearable for me. We live as enemy in the house. We stopped talking to each other since June last year.”

He, therefore, begged the court to dissolve the union on the ground that he was no longer in love with his wife.

The President of the court, Mr. R.I Adeyeri, adjourned the case till August 27, for further hearing.

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Police Officer Seeks Divorce http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/08/20/police-officer-seeks-divorce/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/08/20/police-officer-seeks-divorce/#comments Wed, 20 Aug 2014 10:09:27 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=207815 Nigeria Police Logo

Osunrayi Oluwapelumi & Helen Nneka Nwanua

A police officer, Mrs. Funmilola Alade has prayed the Iyana-Ipaja Grade ‘B’ Customary Court, Lagos southwest Nigeria to dissolve her five-year old marriage to Mr. Johnson Alade, another police officer.

The marriage was contracted in 2005.

The petitioner claimed in her petition that her husband was fond of beating her.

“It got to a point that I attempted to commit suicide by drinking kerosene,” she stated. She also accused her estranged husband of dragging her around the street whenever he beats her.

“The first three days of this year, he beat me continuously,” she added.

 She also accused her husband of not showing concern over her  inability to bear children.

“He doesn’t give me money for medications or tests or follow me to the hospital. He believes he is okay since he has a child with another woman before marrying me. “There was a time I got pregnant but the foetus showed no sign of growth and the doctor flushed it out. My husband did not support me in any way. I paid all my hospital bills and after two weeks of the operation, I packed out of his house,” she narrated.

She accused the respondent of being fetish, adding that he is a serial womaniser.

 “He engages in infidelity and doesn’t hide his girlfriends from me. I can’t complain to his family because I know they won’t listen to me since I’m unable to give their son a child,” she stated. The respondent denied having girlfriends but admitted being fetish because of his profession. He explained that he doesn’t give her money for medical tests because a doctor once told them that she can’t bear children.

 “So why should I waste money on the issue,” he asked.

 He also admitted beating her only once and that was when his friend told him that she was seeing another man.

He did not object to the divorce. The matter has been adjourned for further hearing.

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Methodist Church Declares War Against Polygamy http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/08/13/methodist-church-declares-war-against-polygamy/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/08/13/methodist-church-declares-war-against-polygamy/#comments Wed, 13 Aug 2014 12:54:53 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=206887 Kazeem Ugbodaga

The Methodist Church Nigeria has declared war on leaders and members who are still having more than one wife. Rising from its Biennial Conference in Port Harcourt, the Rivers State capital, southern Nigeria, the church said it was time to purge the Church of Christ from church workers and members still comfortable with having more than one wife.

A communiqué issued at the end of the 9th Biennial Conference resolved that workers and members practicing polygamy would be stopped from holding any position in the church.

“Conference resolve that any member of the church who goes into a polygamous relationship will henceforth be sanctioned in accordance with the Rules of the Church,” the communiqué said.

The communiqué was signed by Rt. Rev. C. Raphael Opoko, TFG Secretary of Conference and His Eminence, Dr. Samuel Emeka Kanu Uche, Prelate, Methodist Church Nigeria.

On the abduction of over 200 female students of Government Secondary School, Chibok, Borno State, the Conference condemned the callous activities of the Boko Haram insurgents and expressed concern over their continued absence from their families and loved ones.

“While praying for their release from their evil abductors, Conference calls on the Federal Government and the International Community to do everything humanly possible to free these girls and return them to their families.

“Conference prays for divine comfort and succour for the families of these young girls who are experiencing intense traumatic experiences over these incidents,” it said.

Dr. Samuel Chukwu-Emeka Kanu Uche

Dr. Samuel Chukwu-Emeka Kanu Uche

In the same vein, the Conference urged all communities at loggerheads across the nation to sheath their swords and embrace peace, saying peace is a vital tool for the development of any nation or society.

“Conference calls on Nigerians to be tolerant of one another and to show respect for other people’s views even when they are diametrically opposed to ours as these are part of the mechanics of having sustainable growth,” it added.

The Conference appealed passionately to those engaged in armed robbery, kidnapping, human trafficking, baby factories, oil bunkering and other terrible vices troubling the society to change their lifestyle for a more positive and productive one and contribute their quota meaningfully to national re-birth.

“Conference also calls on the Federal Government to do more in the area of creating jobs so as to engage unemployed Nigerians (especially the youths) whose population is growing astronomically and is posing itself as a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.

“Conference calls on the people of Rivers State to come together and consolidate on the gains of democracy achieved so far under an atmosphere of peace and love. Conference enjoins the political leadership of the state and the citizenry to work together for the future of the state and for the generation unborn,” it said.

While commending members of the national conference for arriving at a consensus on nineteen out of twenty Committee reports, the conference urged them to resolve all issues around the devolution of power, with maturity and love for the nation, urging the National Assembly to adopt all the credible proposals that would move the country forward.

The communiqué also urged all tiers of government to be more pro-active in preventive health care and on the Ebola plague, it advocated concerted efforts on dissemination of information, particularly preventive measures, to the citizens, imploring people to pay attention to personal hygiene and avoid panicking.

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K1 Relishes Fatherhood Again http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/08/13/k1-relishes-fatherhood-again/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/08/13/k1-relishes-fatherhood-again/#comments Wed, 13 Aug 2014 12:06:09 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=206861 Funsho Arogundade

Almost 20 months after he welcomed the first child from socialite and his latest wife, Titilola Fatia Marshal, Fuji music czar, King Wasiu Ayinde Marshal is relishing the arrival of the couple’ second baby.

Titi, on the noon of 8 August delivered of her second child, another girl, at St. Bernard Hospital, Chicago, United States. The tiny tot and mother were said to be doing fine.

•K1 & Wife

•K1 & Wife

The music star who was beside his wife in the labour room when the baby was born announced the arrival in a message sent to P.M.NEWS Showbiz Trends.

“Glory be to God Almighty. Titilola Opeyemi Adufe Fatia Marshal, just minutes ago today 8/8/14 was delivered of another baby girl in the city of Chicago. Take all the glory God almighty for the joy added to our life, myself and my wife…Welcome to the world our new baby…,” K1 stated.

The music star has been receiving congratulatory messages from his legion of friends and fans all over the world since the news broke.

The couple set tongues wagging in 2012 when news of their relationship broke in the media. The gist became stronger when it was discovered that they had secretly got married.

Titi is a niece of K1’s ex-wife, Salewa.

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Ebola: Stop Cheating On Us, Nigerian Women Beg Husbands http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/08/08/ebola-stop-cheating-on-us-nigerian-women-beg-husbands/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/08/08/ebola-stop-cheating-on-us-nigerian-women-beg-husbands/#comments Fri, 08 Aug 2014 14:56:28 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=206122 Eromosele Ebhomele

Following the outbreak of the deadly Ebola Virus Disease, Nigerian women have started pleading with men to think more about being faithful to their wives in order to stay healthy and to reduce the spread.

Some of these women, who spoke with P.M.NEWS concerning the dangerous scourge that is spreading across West Africa, said it was time for Nigerian men to call themselves to order and face their families where such men are married.

“But for those guys who are not married, it is time to stick to one girl. The days of jumping from one woman to another are gone. The fear of Ebola is now the beginning of wisdom,” Mrs. Chineye Martins, a business woman at the Abule-Ebga area told our correspondent who had gone out to know how informed people are about the ailment.

ebola virus

ebola virusola

Many of the women agreed that it was not only men who cheat on their spouses, but argued that, compared to women, Nigerian men are highly promiscuous.

One of the respondents, who refused to mention her name, told P.M.NEWS that her husband resolved, before her, to stop being unfaithful since the cases of Ebola virus became a concern recently.

“Since June when concerns began to grow because of this virus, my husband promised to stop going out, you know what I mean. Before this time, we had had cause to quarrel. I had also caught him cheating on me.

“Any sensible couple does not need to be told again how dangerous it would be to go ahead and cheat on your partner. You can’t tell who is infected until the symptoms begin to manifest,” she said.

Mrs. Titilayo Ojo, a resident of Ipaja area of the state, explained that she was surprised that the government had not also been harping on the issue of “jumping from one woman to another,” as part of the ways Ebola Virus could spread.

“What we only have in the text message currently circulating is that fluid like blood, sweat and semen from infected persons can be dangerous. Many uneducated people do not know what semen means.

“I think more emphasis should be on promiscuity by both men and women, especially young girls of these days who would do anything with a man just to get money,” she advised.

Mrs. Bolanle Adewunmi, a marriage counselor in the Surulere area of the state, said she had added counselling on the disease to young couples and prospective husbands and wives.

She noted that, for now, there is no cure for the ailment and thus should be avoided by every means possible.

“If we are told that something as small as a handshake could result in contracting the virus, then we should limit the way we relate with people. Married men should stay faithful to their wives and wives should not even contemplate cheating on their husbands,” Mrs. Adewunmi appealed.

Since Ebola was imported into Nigeria by a Liberian citizen, Patrick Sawyer, who has died of the disease along with a Nigerian nurse who had contact with him, Nigerians have been living in fear.

The country’s Minister of Health, Prof. Onyebuchi Chukwu, on Wednesday announced the death of the nurse and also said seven people were being quarantined for the Ebola virus.

The disease broke out in Guinea in February and has spread to Liberia and Sierra Leone. Over 900 victims have died from the virus.

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Girl, 14, Faces Murder Trial Over Forced Marriage http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/08/04/girl-14-faces-murder-trial-over-forced-marriage/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/08/04/girl-14-faces-murder-trial-over-forced-marriage/#comments Mon, 04 Aug 2014 12:58:03 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=205568 A 14-year-old girl accused of poisoning the 35-year-old man she was forced to marry was set to go on trial for murder in northern Nigeria on Monday, a case that has thrown the spotlight on the influence of Islamic law in region.

AFP reports that Wasila Tasi’u has also been charged with the murder of three others who allegedly ate the food laced with rat poison that she prepared and served in April this year, a week after her marriage to Umaru Sani.

Police say Tasi’u confessed to poisoning Sani and his guests at the wedding party in the village of Unguwar Yansoro village, about 60 kilometres (40 miles) outside Nigeria’s second city of Kano.

“She did it because she was forced by her parents to marry a man she did not love,” Kano state police spokesman Musa Magaji Majia told AFP.

Her lawyer Hussaina Aliyu rejects claims that her client made a legally valid confession.

She said Tasi’u was questioned by police without a parent or lawyer present and so any comments she may have made are inadmissable in court.

Aliyu, who works with International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA), has sought to have the case transferred to a juvenile court, a bid rejected by justice officials in Kano.

“All we are saying is do justice to her. Treat the case as it is. Treat her as a child,” Aliyu said.

The marriage of teenage girls to much older men is rampant in deeply conservative, mainly Muslim northern Nigeria, especially in poorer rural areas.

The region has since 2000 been under sharia Islamic law which some say does not prohibit the marriage of underage girls.

But Nigeria’s federal, secular laws also apply in the north, creating a confusing hybrid legal system where sharia police try to work with government authorities to enforce criminal justice.

The issue of child marriage has been fiercely debated in Nigeria over the past year, sparked by a proposal from a northern lawmaker that any girl, regardless of her age, should be legally considered an adult once she is married.

That measure has not become law but the proposal was intensely criticised, including by activists in the mainly Christian south who say Nigeria should not permit any application of sharia, even in the north.

For Aliyu, the defence lawyer, this case is not a referendum on youth marriage in a Muslim society.

Rather, she argued, the primary issue is that criminal charges filed against a minor should be handled by a juvenile court.

“She is still a child,” the lawyer said.

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‘We’re Not Yet Married’ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/07/24/were-not-yet-married/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/07/24/were-not-yet-married/#comments Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:29:49 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=204233 The news sneaked into town when Ghanaian and ex-Tinsel star, Chris Attoh changed his Facebook status to read ‘married’. It spread faster when Chris’ heartthrob, Damilola Adegbite, was spotted with a baby bump at an event in Lagos flaunting a wedding band. And the story swirled around that they had secretly tied the knot.

•Damilola Adegbite & Chris Attoh during their birthday

•Damilola Adegbite & Chris Attoh during their birthday

But days ago, the Ghanaian’s media reps debunked the marriage tale, claiming that the secret marriage between the couple, who are expecting their first child, is not true.

“The couple cannot hold any secret wedding. They will have an open wedding where friends and family would be invited to come and celebrate with them. They are still going to exchange vows, the traditional way,” the statement reads.

The reps added that the status update was just a joke and that Chris Attoh did not actually mean it, expressing surprise about the way many people took it.

The couple recently held a joint birthday party at Casino Royale in Accra with their friends and fans to celebrate their relationship.

Chris was born on 17 May while Damilola’s birthday is 18 May.

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Divorce Drama: ‘We Had Sex Before Coming To Court’ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/07/22/divorce-drama-we-had-sex-before-coming-to-court/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/07/22/divorce-drama-we-had-sex-before-coming-to-court/#comments Tue, 22 Jul 2014 12:27:57 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=203906 Cyriacus Izuekwe

There was a mild drama at Ejigbo Customary Court in Lagos State, western Nigeria, on Monday when a housewife, Mariam Jimoh rejected the divorce suit instituted against her by her husband, Sunday, insisting that they must continue with their 10-year old marriage.

Mariam was taken to court by her husband who is from Oyo State, seeking for the dissolution of their marriage because he claimed that he no longer loved her.

The mother of two insisted that her husband still loves her as they are still living together in the same apartment, sleeping together in the same bed and making love regularly as husband and wife.

The woman also revealed in the court that Sunday made love to her that early morning before they came to court for trial.

She wondered why Sunday would claim he was no more in love with her whereas they are planning to have another baby.

Ogun State-born Mariam said that they are living peacefully because he provides for them and she was still playing her role as his wife by taking care of him and children.

She asked: “where does he want me to go after two kids and the sacrifices I have made for 10 years to keep the relationship?”

The embittered wife said she was still surprised that her husband brought her to the court seeking for divorce even when she showers him with love.

She narrated that they started the relationship when she was in secondary school and they later got married without the consent of her parents.

She said the relationship produced two children, David, 6, and Simon, 4, despite the fact that she did not pay her bride price.

Mariam said she was surprised when she received court summons to appear before the court, adding that the summons did not stop them from living as couple.

Sunday confirmed that they are still living together because of the children and said he was tired of the marriage because her parents did not support it in the first place.

While the matter was going on in court, the parents of the couple who had not met each other since the marriage started 10 years ago appeared in court.

They pleaded with the court to allow them step into the matter to resolve it out of court because of the children. Consequently, the court adjourned till 30 July, 2014 for report of settlement.

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Delayed Marriage http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/07/11/delayed-marriage/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/07/11/delayed-marriage/#comments Fri, 11 Jul 2014 15:54:07 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=202565 By Aidy Thomas

Delayed marriage, have you experienced it? Gone are the days we used to think it was a woman’s ‘headache’ but today, have you not seen guys who have gone past the age of forty without any plans or assurance of settling down in marriage? Tell me, why have we been laughing at the women folk as the only victim? Any way you enter, people ridicule single women who are of age but not married- every move a woman makes is misinterpreted for seduction and attention seeking, why? Meanwhile, guys spin and wink to lure women even when bashed.

It is good to marry but when there is a delay I’m of the opinion life should go on as it were. You do not need to kill yourself for what you cannot change.

The courage to bear your ‘cross’ without complaining to the whole world is an obvious sign of maturity.

 The mere mention of the word marriage causes so much concern to this generation; it is either you hear people lament it (marriage) is not forth coming or when it finally comes, the problems that roll with it seem to overwhelm its merits.  Despite all these, singles still desire this divine union with a passion and some get frustrated when it is not happening when envisaged but to a large extent, others have come to accept their fate whether marriage comes or not.

The point here is not trying to find out if they are happy or not but to salute their courage to move on with life as if all was well. In deed this article is coming from this direction- trying its bit to cheer the gloomy faces and actually saying ‘life is big and deep’ there are a whole lot of things you can do with your life.

I have had the opportunity of speaking with a couple of persons who have tasted, fought and overcome delayed marriage.

One of them said “I’m tired of trying to make things work, the more I try to get settled the little result my effort yields. I grew up as a pretty little girl who had a fair share of the good things life could offer. Seeing and having so much at my disposition gave me a false impression of life. I was taught the difference between the rich and the poor, who were supposed to be my friends, where to go and where to shun. This eventually made me live in a world too far from reality.

When it was time for me to enter university, my parents decided it was either I went abroad or nothing. It was not my first time of traveling abroad so to say I was excited is blackmail but knowing the kind of parents I had, argument would only aggravate daddy’s anger and mummy would be simply irritated, I had to quickly make up my mind to comply. At the eve of my departure, friends and relations flooded the house, some stayed over to the next day, my maternal and paternal grandparents whispered to each other with uncontrollable grins suggesting their pride in my academic success.

As everything went dead and people retired to rest, mummy called me for a private talk. With little or no idea of what she had in mind for me, I sat by her side and to my surprise, mummy had nothing to say about my academics, instead, she said I should be careful not to wine and dine with the poor. Before I could even ask why, she added that I should not also date a foreigner as I had no business staying back in their country after my education. She made it clear to me that my father wanted me to study abroad, come back to Africa and show the people he has a successful child.

Baffled by what mother said, I imagined how I was going to sample guys to finally get one that belonged to my class and will be accepted by my parents. Getting to the UK, the respect I had for my mum made it difficult for me to respond to advances by foreigners no matter the crush I felt for them. To know my parents well is to say that disobedience was never tolerated under their roof.

For a whole year, I stayed without a date (this helped me in a way to settle down academically) but after a while, the female friends I made over there made me feel out of place. I tried explaining to them it was in no way my fault as I got no one that matched my desire.

 Moved by pity, Bessie, my roommate played a fast one and linked me with a rich man’s son who was born and raised in his country home. Definitely, our values were different and to say the least, we were simply incompatible and parted ways sooner than anyone could intervene. As I laid on my bed brooding over the separation, I wondered, did mummy forget to tell me it was difficult to find both love and riches in one pack (relationship)? Perhaps her own time was different, how could she ever dream that guys who were born with mega silver spoon in the mouth would know the rudiments of love and respect for a woman- have they tasted sacrifice, do they know about endurance? Can they be patient with people’s weaknesses when they were taught to scold, blame or shout at people who err in the delivery of their duty?

Indeed, finding true love became a serious problem for me, friends who could not cope with my ‘selective’ attitude (or better put my mummy’s selective nature imposed on me) cleverly avoided the issue each time I attempted to bring it up. The next thing I was looking forward to was the day I will finish my course and get back to my mum, narrating the experience as I look straight into her eyes for reactions.

Coming back to the country was not in any way a relief to my emotion as I was still unable to secure a relationship for myself. Friends and acquaintances I left behind thought my promises to come back were mere sham. Some were engaged while others had already turned parents. Being a little more advanced in age then put me in a position of defense. I viewed everyone with suspicion, thinking they have come to take advantage of me. Before I knew it, all suitors disappeared, leaving me more confused and almost developing hatred for my mother. I summed up courage to ask my mum why she adopted the approach of “match your class” to my relationship. She really did not have any concrete reason to give but kept repeating “all these, I did for your own good”.

As I rehearsed the pains that flew from my mother’s supposed control/influence over my choice of a life partner, there came a time  I realized crying over spilt milk will only cause me more frustration. As such, every bit of my energy was directed toward building a happy future despite what I had lost.

Immediately, plans to take over daddy’s business was under way and before long, I proved to them (daddy, mummy and their friends) my study abroad was not in vain.

Without pretense, life really got interesting and challenging but not tough. My belief in what I could do made me develop a positive attitude toward the challenges that confronted me. Very soon, I discovered life could go on fine without complaining about what you do not have; I have decided to enjoy my life whether marriage comes or not. Anyway, I’m still open, if it comes fine but if not, my life must go on well”.

A word for parents:

•Your life is different from your children’s so let them live life to the fullest, provided, they are not involved in things that would hinder progress.

•When it comes to sensitive issues, try to advice and not command/recommend. A mature mind should be able to take decisions without blaming others for their influence.

•Allow your children to take steps they can defend.

•Every parent would love to control his /her child but please set them free.

A word for singles

•Do not start what you cannot finish.

•Have a concrete plan for your life so you would not be tossed by people’s disposition.

•Take responsibility for your life; don’t blame people for your failure.

•Make up your mind to succeed.

•Even if you have made mistakes, shake it off and face your life again.

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‘I Won’t Mind Being A Second Wife’ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/07/09/i-wont-mind-being-a-second-wife/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/07/09/i-wont-mind-being-a-second-wife/#comments Wed, 09 Jul 2014 13:49:58 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=202247 With ceaseless tales surrounding her relationship status, controversial Nollywood actress, Nkiru Sylvanus, has expressed her wish to be a second wife.

Nkiru made the declaration during her appearance as a guest on Lagos-based Channels TV’s programme, Sunrise, during the weekend.

•Nkiru Sylvanus

•Nkiru Sylvanus

According to the actress who was once the Special Assistant on Lagos Affairs to Governor Rochas Okorocha of Imo State said depending on the situation, she can settle in a polygamous home as the second wife.

“It depends on who and the condition. If the situation is right and the person is good, I will go for him. It is the situation and seeing the right person that makes you settle for a partner. There is no problem about that at all,” she said.

Nkiru also used the platform to explain the truth behind the rumour swirling around over the alleged romance with her boss, Okorocha.

According to her, there is no truth in the rumour of her dating the governor who she refers to as a ‘father figure’.

“I have known the governor for a very long time. There is nothing between us. He even see me as her as his own daughter,” the actress claimed.

She also broke her long silence on her marriage status.

“I am single but not searching because someone has already spotted me,” she said without revealing who the man is.

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Facts About Marriage http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/07/04/facts-about-marriage/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/07/04/facts-about-marriage/#comments Fri, 04 Jul 2014 11:08:16 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=201566 By Aidy Thomas

More myths, more fears and uncountable controversies surround the issue of marriage. Loads of people do not really know how, when and what to prepare for as they dream of tying the nuptial knot.

Surprisingly, the lessons of marriage do not end at the counselling desk; as a matter of fact, that is where it begins. As much as we love and encourage couples to undergo marriage counselling, the real experience is in the relationship. Case studies, examples and scenarios painted by your counsellors might and in most cases will be different from your real encounter.

Some folks are lucky to be counselled by people who are very experienced and open enough to give them balanced information about life. Getting and applying the lessons learnt will determine how successful a marriage relationship will be and how long it would last- we hope it last forever though.

Before you get destabilised and confused; thinking your relationship is the worst around, hear this.

You are two different people coming together: People often get carried away by the fact that they are in love. The initial adrenalin flush tends to conceal the fact that as you stay closer to people the more you will discover about them- both good and bad but the bad tends to hurt deeply. Coming from a unique family like yours makes you do things in certain ways and this applies to your spouse as well.

It is a process: Blending will take some time and this varies according to individuals. The fastest learner will still realise it’s not as easy as he/she envisaged- people need time to adjust and being reasonable what they do will go a great extent to determine how well they settle into their expected roles. When the process is really slow; you feel frustrated and tend to complain or even attempt thinking your partner wants to make things hard for you. That might not be the case; people cannot change overnight.

Marriage will not make you complete: There have been tons of lectures on how marriage makes you who you are supposed to be and how it makes you happy. Complementing is commonly used in most modest examples when considering the partnership that is fostered in the union. Some people actually believe you are incomplete without a spouse but a mature sensible adult is enough to go on living a fulfilled life until time for marriage is right if it’s part of their plans.

There is so much your spouse can do for you but the responsibility of being happy still rests on you. You can draw strength from your relationship but you need to figure out the things you really need to do and discover how to take charge of your dream. I have heard someone say that “Marriage will not fill the void in you” so stop wondering why that ‘miracle joy’ has not flooded your heart. You need to work out how to sort your inner peace, fulfilment, satisfaction and joy.

Each relationship comes with responsibility: Co-existence, in every sense demands some level of responsibility to be shown. You take responsibility for certain things around the home and consciously decide to fill some gaps. Whether your responsibility is clearly spelt or assumed or you do them by default; what has to be done should be done properly.

Situations will test your confession of love: Everyone claims to be head over heels in love at some point of the union but soon, situations crop up that would expose your real character, motive and intensions. There are situations you never thought will come up within the tenet of the relationship but time will let you experience things you would wish never happened to you at all. It could be financial hardship, childlessness or taking a major decision that requires mutual consent.

Cut your expectations: How long will you spend time moaning over who does not like your marriage and how to avenge them. You don’t need to flagellate yourself simply because someone or some people do not accept your relationship. It might not be that you’ve not done anything wrong; some people are just bad minded and are not happy about your marriage. You don’t wait for the whole world to agree with your choice of a partner.

Wedding is only a ceremony: Celebrating wedding has come to stay as a flamboyant tradition. It’s good to set aside this special day to announce the decision of unity you have both taken. Unfortunately, some prepare more for wedding than the real marriage. They fail to understand that wedding last for only a day or a couple of days (if celebrated by royals) but the marriage relationships go on for life or as long as it lasts. More consideration should be given to how to have a rewarding marriage. Concentrate on the helpful things to learn while devising ways to cope with challenges.

Conflict is inevitable: As long as you have different opinions, there are bound to be conflict arising from your differences. This might not insinuate wickedness or negativity; see it for what it is- diverse opinion but it needs to be handled with great care. Inability to focus on the problem at hand gives room for insult and harassment.

You still need others: No matter how successful you think your relationship is, you still need the company and contribution of other people. Old individual friends can be brought and shared. When deciding who to keep or drop as friends; be objective. Keeping in touch with family members could be priceless –your family is always yours.

Whole hearted commitment: Give it your all and give it your best. Marriage is your investment and the more you put-in, the more you get from it. Be ready to support and stand by your spouse in difficult times.

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Man Rapes Neighbour’s 9-Year Old Daughter http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/07/01/man-rapes-neighbours-9-year-old-daughter/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/07/01/man-rapes-neighbours-9-year-old-daughter/#comments Tue, 01 Jul 2014 17:05:34 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=201232 Cyriacus Izuekwe

The police at Ilasamaja division on Monday, arrested a factory worker, Victor Nkoli for allegedly having carnal knowledge of his neighbour’s 9-year old daughter two months after his wedding with his wife in Lagos State, western Nigeria.

The incident happened at Gbadamosi Street, Ilasamaja, Lagos where the suspect and the parent of the victim reside.

Doctor’s report obtained at General Hospital, Isolo, confirmed that the little girl was defiled and had infection that has been causing her itches in her private part.

The police source confirmed that the doctor’s report confirmed that the victim was infected with a disease called staphylococus.

The victim alleged that Nkoli, who hails from Isiala Ngwa in Abia State, had defiled her on several occasions whenever her mother left her at home and went to work.

Trouble started for Nkoli when the victim’s teacher observed she was not concentrating in the class and was always busy scratching her private part and was not walking properly in school.

This prompted the teacher to ask her what happened to her and she revealed that Nkoli has been having sex with her and told her not to tell anyone.

She also said after the sex in his one-room apartment, he would give her N50 to buy biscuits and sweets.

The school management contacted her mother and informed her their observation and what the victim said.

Consequently, the mother reported the matter to the police and Nkoli was arrested.

While the victim was referred to the General Hospital at Isolo, the hospital’s medical report  confirmed the defilement and infection.

When P.M.NEWS contacted Nkoli, he denied the allegation and said he only  assisted the victim whenever her mother went to work.

He said the mother separated from her husband who returned to his home town in Akwa Ibom State and since then, the victim has been living with her mother alone.

“I just married and wedded two months ago and I have been living peacefully with my wife before this incident,” he said.

He said he was shocked when the girl told the police that he had sex with her, but could not explain why she singled him out among those living in the compound.

Nkoli was charged before Ilasamaja Magistrate’s court on Monday for the alleged rape. However, he was returned back to the police cell at Ilasamaja Division because the court did not sit after he was referred to a family court.

Police sources confirmed that he will be arraigned at the family court at Ikeja, on Tuesday because of the age of the victim.

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Man Remanded For Undressing Teenager http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/06/26/man-remanded-for-undressing-teenager/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/06/26/man-remanded-for-undressing-teenager/#comments Thu, 26 Jun 2014 09:28:19 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=200429 Cyriacus Izuekwe

A 30-year old man, Ifeanyi Okafor has been remanded in prison custody at Kirikiri for allegedly pulling off a teenager’s underwear in their Okota home in Lagos State, western Nigeria.

P.M.NEWS Crime Diary gathered that Okafor lured the teenager (name withheld) to his apartment to have sex with her.

He had already pulled off her underwear and was about to engage her in sex before neighbours who saw when she entered his room raised alarm.

They forced the door open and saw both of them half naked.

Okafor denied touching the girl sexually, but could not explain why he removed her underwear. The police arrested and charged him to court for indecent and unlawful conduct.

When he was arraigned, he pleaded not guilty.

The presiding magistrate, Mrs.A.O Gbajumo granted him bail in the sum of N50,000 with one surety in like sum.

He was remanded in prison custody pending when he will perfect his bail condition.

The matter was adjourned till 28 June, 2014.

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Woman Injures, Chases Housewife Away From Home http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/06/26/woman-injures-chases-housewife-away-from-home/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/06/26/woman-injures-chases-housewife-away-from-home/#comments Thu, 26 Jun 2014 09:13:28 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=200423 Cyriacus Izuekwe

A 38-year old woman, Anita Okumagba, has been arrested and charged before magistrate’s court sitting in Ejigbo, for allegedly using an iron rod to break a housewife, Mrs Adetunji Folayan’s head  in Shasha, Lagos, western Nigeria.

According to Adetunji, her rival, Anita from Delta State, overpowered and chased her away from her matrimonial home and took over her husband. She said since then, they had been living together as husband and wife, and Niyi Afolayan, Adetunji’s husband had been taking care of Anita’s children to the detriment of their own children. The incident happened at 6 Clement Ekptome close, Coker Estate, Shasha Lagos.

Adetunji said that she had a quarrel with her husband, Niyi Folayan and she moved out of her matrimonial home with their three children.

•Adetunji Folayan after being hit on the head with an iron rod by Anita.

•Adetunji Folayan after being hit on the head with an iron rod by Anita.

She said instead of her husband to settle the matter, he went and brought Anita who was already married to another man with three children.

She said when she got the information that Anita had moved to her home, she went and discovered that Anita had taken over as Niyi’s wife.

She said when she attempted to inform Anita that she was Niyi’s wife, she got angry and walked her out and when she resisted, she was beaten up by Anita who later took an iron rod and broke her head.

But contrary to the Adetunji’s claims, Niyi stated that Anita was a tenant in his house and he did not marry her as claimed by Adetunji.

He said when his wife left, he decided to let out an apartment and contacted an agent who rented it out.

He said though Anita was living in the house, she had her own apartment as a tenant.

Anita also confirmed that she was a Niyi’s tenant, having rented the apartment from an estate  agent.

She said when she moved into the apartment with her children, she did not meet or know Adetunji before she suddenly confronted her and claimed that she was married to Niyi.

A case of assault was reported against Anita at Shasha Police Division. She was arrested and charged to court. When she was arraigned, she pleaded not guilty.

The presiding magistrate, Mr P.E. Nwaka granted her bail in the sum of N20,000 with one surety.

Anita was remanded in prison custody at Kirikiri pending when she will fulfil her bail conditions. The matter was adjourned till 14 July 2014.

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Family Challenges (2) http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/06/20/family-challenges-2/ http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2014/06/20/family-challenges-2/#comments Fri, 20 Jun 2014 11:18:47 +0000 http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/?p=199502 By Aidy Thomas

You cannot choose the family you are born into; you simply find yourself in it. The good part is that life offers opportunity for you to make the best out of any situation you are desperate and ready enough to change.

Brady Udall in ‘Lonely Polygamist’ says: “…Families are forever, and wondered if the slogan was meant as a promise or a threat.” Whether your family is nice and conducive or hostile does not primarily nullify the fact that you belong there. To be happy in life is to make the very best of every opportunity.

Procreation is what expands the scope of family unit and bringing up young ones in the chosen culture and tradition that distinguishes ‘you’ can be a great challenge. Dorothy Law Nolte has this to say:

“If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn

If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight

If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive

If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself

If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy

If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel envy

If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty


If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient

If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident

If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves

If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is

If the child lives with fairness, he learns justice

If children live with recognition, they learn to have a goal

If children live with sharing, they learn to be generous

If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him

If the child lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice place in which to live.

The summary therefore is that, whatever you expose a child to determines basically who they grow up to become. There are wrong values they may still imbibe that are alien to their foundation but the tool of parenting should be strong enough to eradicate them before any harm is done.

To raise a family that you may look back in future and glow with pride demands more than just a wish. The sacrifice could be anything from quitting a time consuming job to spending extra hours on home work or moving home from one neighbourhood to another where you can afford a better accommodation. Most decisions seem to revolve around what will be beneficial to the children and how to give them the best you can grasp.

Other challenges facing families could be…

Ignorance: No child comes with an instruction manual on how to raise and train them. It is the duty of the parents/carers to figure out what to do, when to do it and how. Reading and expanding your knowledge on grey areas can be useful to family life as well.

Difficult times: Everyone passes through some level of crisis at one point or the other but the difference lies in how you handle yours. When a family goes through crisis, its strength is being tried. This could be when you are trying for babies and nothing positive is forth coming, loss of a loved one, lack of enough money, etc. Standing together to confront difficulties makes you emerge a stronger bond.

Bad decisions: The quality of your present life is the product of your past decisions. Adopting a certain life style may mean that you perpetually find yourself in troubles you would have carefully avoided. This is particularly hard for people who are struggling with spouses who want things their own way always. If you envisage danger and draw their attention, it just falls on deaf ear and unfortunately, the whole family tend to pay for the sin of one person most times.

Wrong association: Some friends are just not right for you. It takes another person who is close to you to notice when you hang out with a coterie of strangers who have nothing to contribute to your success. Birds of a feather, they say, flock together so why are you pitching with people who are not going your direction.

Lack of trust: This could be between couples, siblings or the entire network.

Covetousness: Wanting to be like the other family across the road has pushed many people into mess. There is nothing wrong with desiring a better life but allowing it dictate how you relate with other members of the household is real concern. If your husband does not have the type of job the other man has; you blush. If your wife fails to achieve a celebrity shape after delivery; you leave, if the children are not winning awards like their fellows; you blackmail. All these deliver no gain at all.

Third party: Allowing an external influence to override your primary values and decisions is a clear sign that trouble is lurking in the corner. Some of them might have good intentions but if it doesn’t align with your goal; conflict might erupt.

The list is endless but the bottom line is to be vigilant and harness your arsenal against anything that may threaten family unity, progress or success.

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