10th March, 2015
By Sharon Jane Akinyemi
Last time we traced the root of negative emotions, we examined parental influence on our emotions, we looked at the effect of our emotions on the three most important areas of our life and how emotions affect us in all aspect of our living.
Today we will be looking into how to eliminate negative emotions. Developing a positive attitude is a key to unlocking positive emotions. Our attitude comes from our expectations, which is built on the beliefs we have about our self and our world.
Remember that we establish the enormous effect of parental up bringing on who we become later in life in relation to negative or positive emotions, all improvements in life begin with an improvement in your self-concept there is a direct relationship between how well you do in any area of your life and yourself concept in that area. The home is the foundation of our self concept which is directly linked to our self-esteem
Our self esteem is the core of our personality; it is the source of energy, dynamism, positive emotions and happiness. The foundation of personality is laid down in the first three to five years of life, children are born with two remarkable qualities, they are unafraid and completely spontaneous.
Most personality problems in life are a result of destructive criticism experience in childhood. To unlearn the product of these destructive criticisms we must identify the fears that are holding us back, we must identify the fears that are holding us back, when a child is criticized too much he or she grows up hyper sensitive to words and opinions of others, to eliminate these emotions you must learn to release your breaks, let go of every negative emotions learnt and you are keeping alive.
The most powerful way to release your breaks in order to eliminate negative emotions build-up from childhood is to forgive your parents, and everyone in your life that has ever hurt you. It is only when you forgive your parents everyone who has hurt you and forgive yourself that you become fully functioning adult, until then you remain a child.
Forgiveness is perfectly selfish, it has nothing to do with the other person, you do not have to like the person you forgive, all you need to do is to forgive them let go of the hurtful feelings, so that you can go on with your life.
If you have been through a bad relationship write a letter forgiving the one who hurt you if you have hurt the other person apologize, repentance is good for our soul, Let yourself off the hook. This activity will aid you to dissipate the feelings of anger and negative emotions will eventually disappear leaving you emotionally free and liberated.
Remember you feel positive about yourself when you feel and know you are in control, to be in control we must confront our short coming and squarely deal with them. All our emotions are determined by the way we interpret them set peace of mind as your highest goal. Accept total responsibility for everything in your life. See you at the top.
•Modupe Eka is a consultant, trainer of the D.I.S.C model of human behaviour, a graduate of English language, with teaching background, she is a Public Speaker and by practice a counsellor and an expert in relationship and communication she runs seminars and workshop for corporate and private institutions on topics such as sexual health, parent/child relationship and corporate/ effective team building. She has organized and runs various youth empowerment programmes. Together with her team, they have done extensive work with many Redeemed Christian Church of God parishes within the Lagos environs.
For contact and enquiries: [email protected], [email protected] 08023426953