Love Needs Perseverance 2

Aidy-Thomas

By Aidy Thomas

Like any other good thing in life, holding tight to your confession of love can be challenging but the result could brighten your day. The circumstances of life afford you the opportunity to demonstrate how much you believe in what you confess and maintain your grounds even when it seems you are sticking out like a sore thump- oh yea!

Stages of Perseverance

The need for perseverance in relationships manifests at different levels; you need to decipher when it comes and decide how to handle it to the best of your knowledge and turn things in your favour. Your turn might be right at the beginning of the relationship where the people around you are trying to be sure you are convinced about your choice of who to marry.

If I had my way, I would carefully avoid this point for the fact of its sensitivity but hey! Come on, life is all about living. Millions of couples today, if asked, would not make the same choice of the spouse they are having now. Yes, this later realisation might be one of the causes of rising divorce statistics in our society but on the other hand, that is not enough reason to jump from one vow to another; looking for ‘the perfect one’.

In most cases, your immediate family and friends are a great influence when the time of picking a life partner comes. Parents would naturally: for fear of you falling into wrong hands get interested in the type and quality of your choice. This can sometimes be slippery as their selfish desires and fantasy of the kind of family they would like to be associated with clashes with your idea of who your soul mate should be.

Different things could apply for others as they have distinct knowledge of who they think you are/should be and the kind of partner that would best fit that picture or personality. Whether they are your parents, siblings or friends, the truth remains that striking that balance of choice has not always been an easy task. Some families could separate, quarrel and get furious in the same process. This might be stronger in some settings where the family’s opinion counts heavily on such matters while other liberal folks might just accept your choice as part of your right as an adult to take independent decisions at will.

Once you are satisfied with your choice, you will need to persevere and convince the others to see reasons why your choice is the best for you (if their opinion really matters). Care should be taken during this process so as not to create bad blood which might affect the very union you are trying to protect in future. Careful use of words and mature responses should guide your way because people can be overly sensitive in matters like this. Listen to their side of the story and draw conclusions based on credibility and further findings.

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In most cases, parents are right; they see farther than you because they have ‘walked on that road’ years before you were born and have also learnt from the experiences of other people around them. In situations where there is a total misunderstanding or wrong perception of your choice, you’ll need to lovingly explain to them the real character, personality and values of the one you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with.

Persevere In Bad Times

Did you think you were going to live happily ever after? Yes, you can, only if you can persevere and let the bad days pass. There will most likely be a time somewhere in your union when someone will need to be encouraged, supported or lifted by the other. A spouse who finds comfort in the arms of strangers when their mates are going through difficult times with their health should not be taken seriously. You can only see today; if you were the one in that health mess, would you like to be abandoned or treated like an alien? If your health fails tomorrow, would you crave some support?

Financial Challenges

It’s needless to say how often money develops wings and flies far away from people who once had good level of control over what they can afford. It could be loss of job, business failure or outright mismanagement or wrong investment decision. But you should be wise enough to strengthen him/her in the face of such challenge; they’ve already had enough ‘bad day’ and would not want further lectures from you. Just loving and saying kind words to encourage will go a long way to heal.

Test Of Trust

It will take determination for you to want to spend an extra minute with a spouse someone comes to tell you flirts around. If a friend came to tell you your spouse flirts, will you continue in that relationship?  Susan once had an experience that almost wrecked her entire marriage she’s worked so hard in eight difficult years. Her colleague whispered to her about her husband’s ecstasy with Ruth, a young girl who lives in her neighbourhood. The story sounded so true that at a point, Susan actually started crying and asking why Tony, her husband would do such a damaging thing to her. But somewhere in her heart, she decided to listen to his part of the story and as she confronted him, her enraged husband drove straight to ask the friend who claimed to be spying on him. It was the last thing she expected since she begged Susan not to tell her husband who told her the stories; but the embattled wife threw caution to the wind and did her wish. Upon confrontation, the friend could not defend her claims and finally apologised that she was lying and just wanted to see how Susan will react to the man she trust so much –what a shame!

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