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How Did We Get Here?  print

Published on October 28, 2011 by   ·   22 Comments

Amara

Africa was well known for decency; clothes were used for a covering. I used to think it’s only mad men and women who move about town in tattered clothes. I used to see children and market people make mockery of ladies when they dress in very seductive manner. Boys were brought up to know that the best form of dressing is to have their shirts tucked in properly into their pants. Indecency was seen as taboo in those days when Africans were Africans.

Parents were more after the name of their children and the image of their family. Parents, in those days, wanted to know how their children made whichever money they had. I remember my father asking questions which church members were made to answer on how they got their wealth. I remember my grandmother telling us not to follow certain people because of their ill-gotten wealth.

The story is now different in my Africa. I don’t know what has led us to this sorry state. I don’t know how we got ourselves into the mess we are in. It is no longer a matter of image and name that must be protected; it is now all about how many cars you have parked in your garage and the amount of money in your account.

The pride of a woman used to be in her ability to keep herself pure for her husband. Chastity was admired and honoured above every other virtue in a woman. This is a generation in which morals have been thrown to the dogs. Chastity has suddenly become a vice instead of virtue. Girls now see their friends as fools just because they are decent. I have a forum on Facebook for singles and I can tell you that from what I hear singles say, this generation is far from redemption. Our society has suddenly become the Sodom and Gomorrah of our time.

Boys, even men, now wear rags as clothes all in the name of fashion. Sagging is now the order of the day and I keep saying it that real men don’t sag. What will make a normal human being pull his boxers out of the trousers and proudly walk along the road in the company of his parents? Our hip-hop artistes have suddenly become role models to our children. Nollywood stars (and moon) who jump from one man’s bed to the other and who have no regard for morals are now role models to the youths. The amazing thing is that they don’t even look out for the decent artistes, but those who are constantly on red carpet and who make money, not from acting, but with their body. People, especially young girls, now run into Nollywood and actually get lead roles, not because they are talented and qualified for those roles, but because of their wayward nature. Celebrity has suddenly shifted from touching lives to how many men you are able to sleep with and how many married women you are able to take to bed.

We have found ourselves in a situation where we believe so much in compromise. Compromise is good; I don’t disagree with you, but I keep saying there are things and areas of our lives where it is absolutely unnecessary. Let’s take for instance the case of homosexuality; what will make me, an African, accept it as something natural and commendable? I don’t care how you feel about this, but I am in agreement with President Olusegun Obasanjo when he said that homosexuality (lesbianism inclusive) is against African culture and should be made a punishable offence.

Parents now send their children to a particular school, not because of the academic and moral standing of the school, but for their social status. How many parents still consider the future of their children before choosing their schools? We have suddenly imbibed the western culture of not flogging children even in schools. I beat my children occasionally and I don’t think there is any law in Africa that can make me stop that. Children are now being taught in school that no teacher or parent has the right to flog them; what a shame.

Our pastors and Imams are not free and I keep wondering what becomes of a nation and continent when those who should be crying out for the destruction coming upon the land suddenly find themselves guilty of what they are called and ordained to speak against. Our religious leaders are now seen as thieves and dignified fraudsters. Who will now cry for the redemption of the land?

Our politicians go the extra mile and do all sorts just to be elected or in the case of Nigeria, selected. They take oaths in some powerful shrines and commit their souls to the devil all for power. Is it possible for us to move forward as a nation when our leaders are mostly blood sucking beasts? How can we have peace in our land when sacrifices are made to unknown gods with blood of innocent citizens shed just for power?

What is happening along the Lagos-Ore road? Is it that our President and his advisers have not heard of the lives of Nigerians being wasted daily along that road? Have Babalakin and Bi-Courtney Company suddenly turned deaf? Is it yet another way to continuously suck blood of innocent men, women, and children of Nigeria?

Our leaders have failed and so have we. We have failed in our homes as we no longer desire to pass down the envied African heritage down to our children. The schools have failed to educate our children the African way. Our churches and mosques, as Jesus said, have suddenly turned to den of robbers. The shameless leaders we have don’t even care if we exist and as far as they are concerned, our people dying daily along those bad roads are nothing but chickens and they need the blood for their stay in power. The most painful thing is that we complain and cry out while they are busy looting us dry and thinking of better strategies for money laundering.

Who will save us from this mess? Who will open his ears to the cry of the masses and become a deliverer for our nation? Who will be that teacher and school proprietor to stand against the western education system that we have imbibed? Where is that preacher who will stand as the lonely voice in the wilderness crying out for lost souls? Is there any leader who will genuinely feel the pain of the masses and instead of flogging us with scorpions and iron brings us closer to his or her heart and help save Nigeria?

I have looked around, but I can’t see anyone to fill the vacuum. I have looked to see if there is anyone with the heart for the poor and less privileged; there is no one. But I know that you can make the difference if you want to. You can stand out wherever you are; you can make a difference in your own little way. If we all can start doing something positive to affect our communities while ignoring our leaders (nothing good is coming from them), our nation will be a better place to be.

You cannot do anything for your community, nation, and the continent until your heart is filled with love. Love is the only thing that can bring the difference that a dying world needs.

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Posted by on October 28, 2011, 12:45 pm. Filed under Columns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

22 Comments for “How Did We Get Here?”

  1. Lawrence

    The right people need to stand up anywhere at anytime to stop this.Nollywood and some stars are some of our problem. i got a nollywood movie that movie was hell, i ask myself why did you buy this in the first place. It is bad. Thank you.

    • blessed

      I leave in the UK and one of the things we’ve done to help our kids become accustomed to their Nigerian root and culture is to subscribe to this Nollywood Channel in Sky (329).

      Unfortunately, every movie has to start with the same censorship warning (this movie is not suitable for children under 18, parental guidance is advised).

      Is any producer or director in Nollywood interested in the upbringing of the younger generation at all? Why is it soo difficult to find films without all these suggestive and obscene scenes ? Is any film in Nollywood suitable for bringing up decent kids at all ?

      If all we’re after is money and fame and no one is interested in the upbringing of our leaders of tomorrow, I’m afraid the future of our society might be bleak.

  2. Religious lidas are not cn as thieves&dignified fraudsters,they are.especially d many so called pastors.they are sending us away frm d church,but glory 2 Godalmighty they cant send us away from heaven. as per nollywood, they’ve added drug peddling 2 their eva increasing vices&oda indecency.i wonda which is beta btw nollywood/artists&d so call nigerian churches/religious lidas

  3. SUSAN ANUKE

    Well done Amara.
    God bless u

  4. ak

    The truth is that its only going to get worse.

  5. Lady Amara!!! Frankly speaking,our generation has lost the moral value which our African society inherited from the ancestors. “Charity begins at home”they say. When looking at our society today,respect is lost amongst the children in some homes. There is no sign of respect from the junior child to the senior ones and the parents are not bordered,instead they look at it from a different perspective,compared to those days when no parents allowed this to happen and if there was any who wanted to try this,the parents would order that senior child to openly discipline the rude ones in the presence of other children to serve as a way of correcting them. Apart from this, some mothers nowadays even prefer their children to call them aunty instead of mother i don’t know what we are turning to,that is that. Obviously,i quiet agree with you Lady Amara,that this generation is far from redemption,just take a look at our girls on the campuses ”whether university or poly”most of them are lesbians even some working class ladies and women are supporting them and when you see them physically they look very innocent they can pretend both at work and in the house of God, but when you present yourself as a lesbian on facebook you’ll be surprised with their responce and display to be your friends. The factors to make a very solid foundation for everlasting marriage for better society are not embraced again,when they marry today by tomorrow they’ll frustrate the man and the marriage because they don’t see any importance in getting marry.BUT THEY TAKE THEIR LESBIAN PARTNERS MORE SERIOUSE THAN THE MEN. There are lot of many wrong things going on in the high places in our country,recently our Senators were contemplating on how to legalise prostitution in Nigeria,WHERE ARE WE GOING? We really need to start from our very self with strong individual prayers and change of attitude to safe our posterity.Lady Amara! THIS IS AN ARTICLE TO OUR THIEVES LEADERS IN GOVERNMENT HOUSES FOR CHANGE OF ATTITUDE.

  6. frank

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  7. Godwin

    God Bless you my sister for the write up.I would never support homosexuality no matter how they want to paint it good using inequality out here in the USA where i reside now.It disgusts me alot and I would never raise my children here because their mind would be filled with so many immorality which I am seeing for myself.

    The deputy senate president mentioned something about legalizing prostitution…Oh my.This man should be removed from that post.Imagine encouraging young girls to go into it with his satanic words as if he deserves a round of applause.I dont know if his wife who would expect a shameful man to say such.We dont have leaders as far as I am concerned and they dont have a soul because if they do.. the bad road networks would not be ignored because they take flights here and there while those who cannot afford will lose their innocent lives because of deplorable road conditions.

    Please we need more pictures of the Benin/Ore road and place in the front of the newspapers like yours so that shame would follow them al the rest of their lives,.

    God be with you always.

  8. morrison

    we can all complain from now till eternity but i can assure you that nothing will ever change ,afterall african values and cultures were painted as being inferior and the black race accepted thereby enslaving themselves to the imperialist ideologies which will never work for us.

  9. ..wat a great ..start…lets do some thing to our society yes.!.. Lets start frm smwhr..so dat we maitain our reputation..and control..or stop this so called western idiologies…. And revive our best teachings… And morals…. Yes! We can do it….. ..

  10. boyce

    Amara, keep letting all these stupid men and silly women know that they are highly nonsensical. you are one strong voice of reason everybody can’t afford to ignore,and the earlier everyone listen, the better. they change we keep talking about is possible, only when everybody is honest. frankly speaking, Africans as a whole needs serious orientation because moral values has drastically drop.

  11. kingsley

    dear,
    it is so bad that all these are happening in our time,but i still believe that there are still good people in Nigeria irrespective of number of bad people every where both in Nolly-wood and co.i am a trained actor in Nigeria before i left Nigeria,i saw so many bad things in that so called Nolly wood but i pray that God in heaven will save our nation in the challenge.please inbox your contact i need your assistance

    thank you for this article
    it is one in a million

  12. olatunde vincenmt

    “…. and they know they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.

    And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden” Genesis 3:7-8. This is the biblical story of the fall of man.

    The lesson from this biblical illustration is that man and woman discovered they were naked, and were ashamed to discover their own nudity, which they tried to sheathe from the Almighty, their creator. Today, reverse is the case, our woman walk almost naked exposing virtually all the sensitive and sensuous part of their body.

    The way nudity has crept into our natural life is alarming and appalling that we begin to wonder if moral has a place in our daily lives again. Ladies in the corporate world now dress like whores in the red light zone. These fashion malaise cuts across ages and social status, even female teachers that are suppose to be role models; are not left out of this fashion craze. Churches are the worst hit by this bug. In many of the Pentecostal churches, and of recent some orthodox churches, a significant percentage of their members are skimpily dressed in clothes that expose their female anatomy, transparent clothing that expose the thighs, breast, belly and the waist. Sometimes you see them put on tight fitted skirts and body hugs that expose their body outline, such that one could hardly differentiate between a church service and a nude party.

    In most churches, Ministers and Pastors conduct marriage rites for women that are skimpily dressed. These days, brides put on transparent wedding grown which could hardly cover their breast. Back in the day, churches have dress codes for intending couples; and deform from that path translate to an outright cancellation of the wedding by the church. However, the advent of western culture and statistical rise in the number of prosperity preaching Pastors and churches has changed all of that. Nigerian culture of decent dress has been thrown to the dogs. Different shades and styles of wedding gown are allowed into the churches; all in the name of looking attractive jettisoning the biblical teaching about how a woman dress to earn respect.

    Asides the abuse of the wedding gown, most ladies attend church services dressed in trouser pants that expose their buttocks and in some cases their pubic hair and skimpy tops some come in miniskirt that are only long enough to cover the subject matter, while their exposed thighs are left at the judgment of the distracted male worshipers.

    Ministers of God are no longer concerned about the dress ethics of their church members, an issue they consider trivial, instead, they are preoccupied with prosperity preaching and how to enrich their church finances through financial obligation placed on their naive members.

    This trend has also affected the traditional African home hitherto known for its high esteem for moral and cultural values. Parents no longer bother about the dress sense of their children, since most parents especially mothers are not lift out of the craze. Charity they say; begins at home. Most kids imbibed this absurd fashion trend from the parents.

    In the Universities and Polytechnics campuses, Ladies are vainly dressed in a way that suggests picnickers at the beach. They are dressed in dresses like: hot pants, micro miniskirt, skin tight trouser pants that showcase the luscious flesh of their behinds, outer necks that exposes their backs and barely cover their boobs. Boob exposure is regarded as a mode of fashion that has apparently come to stay. It is as a matter of fact spreading like a wild fire.

    This dress mode is not an exclusive preserve of the rich and educated; but also rampant amongst the uneducated especially the Petty Traders and Artisans in the Nigerian society.

    People that dress decently are subjected to ridicule by these daughters of Jezebel; they are either called uncivilized characters or old school teachers. Indecent dress is used to measure social status ‘happening babes’ now. For one to belong, you will have to go indecent in your dress sense.

    Little wonder cases of rape, sexual harassment, violent attacks and disrespect for women are on the increase.

    At this alarming stage, a bill bothering on indecent dress has been forwarded to the Senate by some concerned citizens for consideration. Though some Legislatures are strongly against it; citing the principles of fundamental human rights. Nigerians anxiously await the outcome.

  13. Snazzychick

    Nice article Amara. keep it up… i just hope ppl get to read this & really put it in practice. God Bless Nigeria!!!

  14. My contact:018446595
    email:amara@amarablessing.com

  15. Naubiko

    Amara, don’t worry about the Lagos Ibadan or Benin-Ore road, Babalakin is still praying at the redemption camp with the GO and hopefully miracle will happen for the road to be constructed over-night. Yes !! its Nigeria, the land of wonders and miracles where anything can happen.

  16. Femi

    We should ask Babangida. All the unknown vices in this country started with his regime. The ones they were sleeping before August 1985 woke up. Name it 419, drugs, assassination/hired killings, examination fraud, escalation cultism in the tertiary institutions, etc.

  17. Femi

    10% started with Better Life For Rural Women (when the governors were forcefully donating 10% to the program from state allocations, state would take 10% from local government etc) and now graduated to between 80 – 100% kick back on contracts.

  18. FemiOmoJESU

    I attended a wedding in England July this year. More than 50% of the Nigerian women wore dresses which reveal half of breasts; including my own sister-in-law. i ask my wife what the problem was? In fact to me it was in deed a problem because nothing was left for the imagination of the opposite sex. My wife’s answer was that the women were competing with girls so that their husbands will know they are in the ‘market’. Vanity upon vanity all is vanity. God bless you Amara.

  19. zionking

    That is why BOKO is HARAM!. Forget about the bombing. Boko Haram have a point. This western civilization is not helping us. If the security agencies leave BOKO PPLE alone. they will not kill any body but teach those stupid leaders a lesson. Honestly we need Boko Haram movement to correct this ills, the bitter truth.

  20. peter

    Amara, God will bless u a million times! Iam tired of this nonsense called modern dress code or fashion. You see women who are richly endowed with boobs flaunt it publicly as if public advertisement of their privacy will yield more money. A lady came into the same bus i was travelling and was struggling to bring up her jeans to cover her exposed waist and upper abdomen revealed open by the half skimpy dress she wore. It got to a point i told her she is imprisoned by her dress code because she did not have peace and freedom throughout the journey. Some stupid women and boys attacked me that am a “bush man”. You see? Bush man because i protested against indecency in the public. Amara, please, organize a campaign starting from our Higher institutions. Hope you sail through such campaign when a whole member of the upper House will proposed full license to be given to prostitutes to operates freely in Nigeria. Oh’ Jehovah God! To such a man, i say woe unto him and his generation for the bible says that righteousness exalt a nation but sin is a reproach to his people The culprit in this indecency carnival are the women more than the men folks. I believe that if 70% of Nigerian men revolt against indecent dressing amongst the women folks, whether in the church, schools, parties, etc., then there will be a check on this. Men should stop praising young girls or women on Facebook as:” looking so sweet”,” I like this” oh you are the moon i had wanted to see” just because they are half naked in their dress code. Because of this, single ladies have changed their Facebook pictures previously seen as decent by all sound thinking people and filled their online albums with their nude pictures to attract men. Is this not shameful?

    Africans were known for their cultural decency as you said.
    But now, the western culture has swallowed what we inherited from our forefathers. media organizations should NOT accept advert with nude women. If such is seen, the paper should be banned. Let’s stop this human right nonsense. Why can’t we use human right to share Nigerian wealth to Nigerians if it really works?

    Why can’t the human right defenders and solicitors encourage the revival of our poor and degenerated infrastructures using the human right tool? Why do they have to remember this when vices and norms including corruption and indecency are to be corrected or frowned at?

    I will like to see the first media house in Nigeria that will take up this campaign and request for corporate sponsorship from Mobil, SHELL ,Chevron, Agip, Cadbury, Mr. Biggs etc. and i want to see how many of them will freely respond. Hope they will rather not wait to sponsor ” Nudity show” in the name of Miss Nigeria?

    Who say nothing can work in Nigeria? Everything can work here. It takes a little commitment by me , you and the next person beside us to start. Fashion houses bringing this indecent dresses should be censored and sanctioned. Special task force should be set up to arrest and publicly disgrace every woman and man involve in this indecent act, and their photographs published in a government approved newspaper as a deterrent to others. Parents should live by example.

    If i allow my wife or sister to dressed out half nude with me for a public function because she want to be fashionable, then what will the children do? I really appreciate this write up. Please think of my points and proposals.

  21. Africa is gradually losings its norms and value in the name of globalization, but with people like you we might be able to save a few children out there who doesn’t really have any one to advice them. I will like to join you in this advocacy.

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