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What He Wants From You (2)  print

Published on October 18, 2011 by   ·   26 Comments

Amara

I started this very topic last week and decided to do the concluding part of it today. Have you started practising those few tips I gave out last week? Here is the concluding part of this article.

•He appreciates the fear

of God in you.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised. The greatest legacy you can leave for your children is that of righteousness and godly living. The heart of your husband trusts you more when he finds out that you are close to God and actually lives it.

•Being respected is more important than being loved.

Civilization is good, but it has also done so much to destroy our values. Women used to allow their husbands discuss privately with friends, business partners, and relations. I know some men still download everything for the woman once they get into the bedroom (this is highly commendable), but it would be nice if you allow him be in the presence of friends and relations.

There is a place that is for the man alone in every relationship. How do you think he feels knowing you call him all sorts of names and slap him in public only to wake up the next morning professing love without end? I know you are too educated and civilized to allow a man toy with you, but the truth remains that he will toy with you once in a while. No amount of love can take the place of respect for a man in a relationship.

•Look sexy at all times

It is really sad how some women lose their sense of style the moment they become Mrs. XYZ. That man saw you and fell in love with you and your looks. He admired your style and hair-do; he was always running home to meet his wife who would be dressed in sexy lingerie. But things have fallen apart since the day your baby arrived and now the man, after seeing all the very beautiful ladies while at work, goes home to a wife who ties wrapper all through the evening and goes to bed in it. Madam, please help your husband by spending less on the Brazilian hair and Iman powder; use the money for some good, sexy night wears and lingerie. If your body is flabby, a little exercise would help fix you.

•Avoid nagging

When a man enters the house on a daily basis with the thought of being welcome by a nagging wife, he starts looking for a better and more peaceful hideout somewhere outside the home. He is your husband and not your baby. If you know you got him from God and through the right means, there is no point struggling to keep him; your good character will keep him, but he will go if he is not yours. You should also work on your self-esteem and step up a bit if you think you are not good enough for him.

•He wants to be well fed

Our women are gradually losing it when it comes to proper feeding of the family. Marriage is not about you being good in bed; what happens to the man after the good sex with no good food from his wife?

•He wants to be envied

for having you

I believe you know what this means. Your man wants to be praised, honoured, and called blessed by his friends just for having you as his wife. A good wife will ever remain the crown and glory of her husband. Your man cannot be proud to have you by his side when all you do is fight on the street and gossip from one house to the other.

What about your physical looks? I felt so sad the day I saw a man well dressed in jeans and t-shirt only for his wife to walk in with one Ankara that made her look like his mother. Ladies, please try to brush up a bit especially when you find your husband moving to a higher position.

This could be his reason for keeping you at the background in church and having that deaconess take your place in the running of the church. This could be the reason he does not take you along to business dinner and his company’s end of the year party. Please step up a bit and learn how to make heads turn whenever you walk in. You should know how to dress to suit all occasions.

I also advise women to make efforts to move higher in their education whenever they see a man aspiring for a new status at work. He wants to be able to flaunt you before his friends and colleagues without the fear of you acting or doing something to tarnish his image. Don’t let him start looking for the very educated ones to relate with; get up and get some good education.

•Invite him on a dinner

date once in a while

We are brought up to believe that a man’s cross in life is to be our ATM. I agree with you and that is the principle of nature, but you have to sometimes foot the bills, madam. Our men feel special when we invite them for a date and actually take care of the bills. A good number of them will opt to pay at the end of the day, but they will ever appreciate you in their heart.

I also have this habit of making sure my man looks good. It could be very tough with a man who is full of ego and who hates being advised by a woman. If you don’t like how he dresses, don’t dump him or probably sit far with your friends during occasions; you should have a way of making him dress well and to your taste (that’s if you have a good fashion sense).

•Cigarettes make you

cheap and easy

You may not agree with this, but I know a good number of people think this way. This has nothing to do with timidity, but the first impression people have about you when they see you smoke as a woman is that you are not a happy person, you are a very cheap whore and one of those women who live in the club, you have no morals and good upbringing, and you are simply frustrated.

•Please don’t drop

the pet names

He was honey, sugar-pie, baby, and ololufe before the baby came. The baby has come and now you are a member of your village meeting. The one time honey-pie has become “baba Iyabo and “papa Nkechi”. In doing this, you are indirectly telling him you are no longer the sexy baby, but “mama Iyabo” and “mama Nkechi”.

•He wants you to have

high self-esteem

It does not take too much effort to know a woman with very high self-esteem. A woman that is high in self-esteem will never waste her precious time discussing other people. A woman with a very high self-esteem does not live a life of constant suspicion. You are making life miserable for him and nagging him out of the house just because you have failed to deal with the terrible disease called low self-esteem.

•He loves it when you smile

A woman who smiles has a way of reaching the deepest part of a man’s heart. A woman of cheerful countenance finds her husband and even his friends addicted to her. There is nothing as healing and soothing to a man as his wife opening the door for him with a cheerful face. There is this glory and aura that surrounds you when you have a free spirit.

•Listen more

I used to be a very good listener, but after my bitter experiences in marriage, I started feeling I was taken advantage of because of those virtues that I exhibited in marriage. This made me become very defensive and kind of saucy. But during my morning devotion someday, I read the passage of the scripture that asks us to be quick to hear and slow to speak. This made me start praying and with the help of God, I am learning again to keep calm at all times and this is really working in my relationship.

I didn’t just get here; I found myself here due to past experiences. Maybe you found him taking advantage of your goodness and godly qualities. You could have seen your friends who exchange words in public with their man succeed in their marriage; this does not make it right. Don’t let what other people do make you change in the negative.

•Learn to say “I am sorry”

I am one person who cannot keep malice. I forget things the moment they happen and I forgive easily. This made me live to be crawling on my knees begging a man for peace to reign in the home even when he was always wrong. When the marriage came to an end, I promised myself never to apologise to a man again. I tried this severally, but you know true love has a way of breaking you in pieces without you knowing it. There is nothing wrong in you being the one to apologise for peace to reign in your home. It doesn’t make you the weak party, it says just one thing; you are a real woman.

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Posted by on October 18, 2011, 12:44 pm. Filed under Columns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

26 Comments for “What He Wants From You (2)”

  1. Hilary

    Amara, this is characteristically excellent of you. But please also advice them continue to give their husbands more attention and always expect and pick up their calls whenever they call like they used to do during the courtship and early married days. Most (though not all) wives after one year of marriage will throw their phones away and the man will call several times, atimes on emergency situations but they will not pick only to give very flimsy excuses like the phone was in their hand bags or inside the room as if that is not supposed to be a mobile phone. But they will pick on the very first ring during the courtship days.

    • Amara Fan

      nawaho u get us hear. i will try sha. for safety purpose the phone is in the bag. when we are in the kitchen either in bedroom or sitting room.

  2. Lady Amara! With the concluding part of this your topic ”what he wants from you(2)” You have said it all to the women in our society,from your personal experience with other related words of advice. If every woman could make use of the above mentioned points by Lady Amara, every home will become a paradise of good relationship for both husband and wife not only that but also life in marriage will equally become a platform of attraction to our up-coming matured young men and ladies who are due for marriage,then looking at marriage as a bondage or everlasting punishment of life will not exist again in our society because many couples today see marriage as bondage with no way out of it except through NAGGING, FIGHTING,PLAYING PRANKS ON THE PARTNERS EVEN KEEPING LATE OUTSIDE TO AVOID SITUATIONS AT HOME and eventually DIVORCE will be the last result which is wrong. Therefore any individual that will be treated with all these application for peace in marriage and still see marriage from a wrong side without finding his partner attractive to satisfy,he is on his own. Lady Amara!!! You are a God sent and a disciple of peace to marriages of this generation ride on sky is your limit.

  3. Steve

    Amara, all well said and good but the fact still remains that we are living in a different world where women find it difficult to respect their husbands. Many marriages suffer because women are now the driver and decision makers at home. Most men who wants to live long has quickly relinquish this role to their wives but in a nut shell its the women that still suffers. Your advice is good but most women just can’t change. Christianity in some cases has worsen the situation where women listen to their pastors more than their husbands. Their husband has become evil in their eyes and meanwhile that same man is being enjoyed by another woman outside. 60% of marriages has already broken even though the man and the woman still lives under the same roof but because of shame of family or society, they are just co-habiting. When they have visitors they smile as if all is fine but alone ‘to your tent o’ Israel’.
    The institution of marriage is deeply in trouble in our generation. The solution is if women realise the position God place them as helper and to respect and obey their husband at all times.

  4. Es3

    Amara, I’m a man and there is nothing I appreciate in my woman than for her to just be a woman and not quasi man?! The feminine everything with sparks of ‘positive intelligence’ keeps me on track and in character that she will make enjoy me the most and never cease thanking God!!!

    You got your points right and I only hope those concerned are reading, or (better still), listening to you.

  5. Amara,
    You never stop amazing me with your well thought out write-ups. Well Done!

  6. Okechukwu

    What an undiruted advice !
    Adanne.
    Thankz alot for keepin the flag up.
    I pray that this article wil make a great impact.

  7. CHARLES

    Who made all these things known to you. After listening to both parties in this case: THIS IS MY JUDGEMENT.

    IN COSIDRATION OF UR WISDOM AND HUMILITY IN MARRIAGE, I HEREBY SENTENCE YOUR HUSBAND TO LOVE, CARE AND BE UR LOVING “SLAVE” FOREVER. GOD BLESS U.

  8. Mr. Zabayo

    Amara, God bless you for this master piece.

  9. Folusho

    Though your past may have been very hurtful, I bless God for giving you grace to find truth, and grace to declare it (the truth). May the Most High God continue to use you for His glory and praise as you declare the truth. Your write-ups are always so wonderful, correcting and encouraging. Your end will be peaceful and glorious, in Jesus Name. Please keep up the good work. God bless you.

  10. Olufunmi

    This is a real food for thought. I pray that God helps our women/ladies to adhere to this epistle, it would really bring a beautiful turn around to many homes and relationships..You are simply saying that the woman should allow the man his role as the head while maintaining her position as helper and friend!. God bless you sister.

  11. Emmanuel

    The Lord continue to bless, preserve, strengthen, direct, enfold and uphold you with the realities of these rhema so that your head will continually overflow each day wit fresh oil until the day of Jesus Christ… Tnx.

  12. Gloria Ike

    Nice one from you again! kip it up

  13. Rose

    Hi Aunty Amara,

    Godbless you for this write up, Please i will be very grateful if you can forward me your Phone number, i have some personal issues which your advice will be appreciated

  14. Ng

    God bless you Amara. The Lord will continue to increase your wisdom and give our women the grace to be submissive to their own husbands and adhere to this piece of advise you have dished out. A lot of women are guilty of most of the things enumerated above. For instance, the moment babies start arriving, you notice some women just throw caution to the wind. No more good looks, no time for the man, every attention is now on the kids alone forgetting that the husband still needs to be taken care of just like when they were newly married. Well, you have said it all, I pray our women would read and apply it in their marriages with godly wisdom.

  15. emmanuella

    beautiful piece.may God continue to bless u.

  16. Vincent, Unical

    Thanks for this piece, once again. Earlier, i said i’ve found nothing but the truth, and an eye opener to something in my relationship. And ‘wolla’, its working.
    Am in top heavens now with my doll. Life’s good people. Just a lesson i learnt!

  17. Emenine

    we need more of you to educate us so that we will know the true meaning of love.is all about gentility,remain bless you are mother.

  18. HONOURABLE OLUWASEYI OGUNYINKA

    (1) http://pmnewsnigeria.com/2011/10/11/what-he-wants-from-you-1/

    (2) http://pmnewsnigeria.com/2011/10/18/what-he-wants-from-you-2/

    Dear Sir/Ma.

    Please, kindly find time to read these 2 links and I am sure at the end of reading it, your marriage will receive a boost. Your marriage will not remain the same but rather be blessed as there were testimonies from other families who had been blessed by the writings of the PM NEWS columnist, Amara Blessing Nwosu. The piece is for both men and women. I will call it “PILLS FOR SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE AND HOME”.

    Other posts by Amara, click this link: http://pmnewsnigeria.com/?s=WHAT+HE+WANTS+FROM+YOU

    Thanks and may you and your marriage not gain speed in the wrong direction in Jesus name, amen.

    Honourable Oluwaseyi Ogunyinka.

    U.S.A.

  19. st attram

    amara u soo great, knowledgeable and a feel woman.i will be glad to see u when visit nager. am a missionary with an apostolic fire .may u receive wisdom which is greater than solomon.say amen

  20. st attram

    amara u soo great, knowledgeable and a feel woman.i will be glad to see u when visit nager. am a missionary with an apostolic fire .may u receive wisdom which is greater than solomon.say amen

  21. Amara,
    You are a Virtuous woman. A Nobel woman, good for admiration. In fact, you are just speaking directly to me. Thanks for the good advice. God bless you.

  22. Tayo Sanyaolu

    A good one Amara, but we must all realise one truth. sophistication has eaten too deep in the modern woman and as such beclouded her reasoning. your principles are true, but God’s grace is paramount my dear.

  23. Femfem

    Ok Amara, what about the men?
    They need some senses like the ambassador who battered his wife for any reason I don’t want to know.
    All said and done, thank you. I hope my wife read your penstemon masterpiece.
    Good job, Amara!

  24. Wale.G

    Am a corper servin in one of d eastern states i stay with my boss(proprietor)of my primary assignment,to be sincere i dn’t lyk d way he treats his staffs as slaves non-payment of salaries,carefree atitude 2wardz his relatiöns and 2most surprisin of all his so-called driver his is BLOOD brother…y is it vry common among men i feel dislikes already inside of me 4him.

  25. More D

    Thanks for the words of wisdom giving to womenfolk, but you forgot to measure one very important issue and which is all about women neglecting their husbands immediately they start having kids. This makes men jealous and feel neglected and not being shown the kind of love and affection, the women used to give when the relationship just started before culminating to marriage. Thanks

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