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What He Wants From You (1)  print

Published on October 11, 2011 by   ·   59 Comments

Amara

I decided to write this article today due to the series of messages I received from men thanking me for letting them know what the women folk want and asking me to help them by talking to the women for a balanced relationship.

Some people criticize me for always not balancing my articles. I do two articles every week—Tuesday is for women while Friday is strictly for men.

If you meet 10 women differently and ask them to tell you what it is that men want in a relationship, their answers would be predictable. It is not different when you ask men what they want from their woman. You will get all the answers acceptable to the society, but the truth is that what men say they want is, in most cases, different from what they actually want. This article, if well read and assimilated could bring the change you need in your relationship.

Every man wants a woman who will make him feel good and on top. If a woman understands that the best way to make a man feel good in a relationship is simply by being a woman, that woman will have the man, a real man, go places for her.

I laugh when women, during my counselling sessions complain of their in-laws calling them witches and accusing them of using juju to control him. I want you to hear this: if as a married woman, you have not been accused of such, there is something you are not doing right or true love and friendship is absent in your relationship. Men, most times believe they are the head; I agree they are the head, but when it comes to control, the woman is actually in control of the man (you may not understand this now).

Before writing this article, I talked to several men and with the knowledge gained from my counselling sessions, I bring to your knowledge those things that will make your man go the extra mile for you.

 

Don’t stop professing love

A good number of women are good when it comes to romance before marriage, but once they enter the man’s house, it becomes a battle ground. I was opportune to counsel a woman who was well known as a flirt when she was single. When I encountered her, she was the opposite of all she was. This made me to remember what my aunty told me sometime, “there is the law of diminishing returns”. You don’t have to stop those sweet words just because you are now his wife; he still yearns for those beautiful words.

Centre of Interest

Most men want to be the centre of a woman’s interest, whether that is fair or not, and don’t want her devotion to work placed above her devotion to him. I know men in this generation don’t like getting married to a woman who will become a liability, but they also want a woman who will somehow depend on them.

Women often feel men detest career women just because they are independent; you are very wrong. As a very busy woman and one who wants to touch lives in her generation, I have come to realise that men are not really against us because we are busy and have good source of income. They are attracted to women like us because of their level of intelligence and commitment to work.

The problem is that when they get close to you, they are disappointed by your “I don’t need a man” attitude. Yes, you work hard for your money, but he still wants to be brought in when it comes to certain decisions.

 

More feminine look

Men are visual; everyone knows. To a good number of men, even when they go after semi-nude women, they still adore women who have those feminine looks. Your feminine look catches a man’s attention and makes him see you as a woman who loves being a woman and not a sex toy.

I remember one evening at Ikoyi Club when men made so many beautiful comments about my flowing dress and dropping ear rings. There were ladies there who dressed half naked, but didn’t get the kind of compliments I got. I am saying this to let you know that your look says so much about you. Don’t go on making that mistake of believing men love you semi-nude. When you dress that way, they see you as nothing, but a sex toy and they get attracted to you just for that reason.

When you wear more of those dresses and long hairstyles, men get crazy for you for the right reasons. You also have to know that men are not so much after how much you weigh; they want your body proportionate with the curves still there. I must also use this medium to remind us we are still African women. You are not supposed to be obese, but don’t forget that African women are envied for their curves, hips, and bum.

I know a good number of men love women with these features, but I must also tell you to always try to find out how your man wants you to be in your efforts to look skinny. Recently, I was told by my man to make sure I don’t lose my hips and bum just because I want to lose weight. He further said what he really wanted to say, “I don’t want you to lose any weight”. I had to forget about losing weight because I love him and want to make him happy.

 

He enjoys good sex

Please don’t be deceived into believing your husband is too spiritual and busy that he doesn’t care about sex. No matter his level of spirituality, he still loves good sex. Don’t let anyone brainwash you into believing there are sex styles that a good Christian or Muslim shouldn’t get involved in. Anything done during sexual intercourse in marriage is right and acceptable. Find out what your husband wants, but don’t forget he may not open up to you because of his position in the church; find it out yourself by attempting to do those things to him. But you also have to help him not to see sex as hard labour by losing some weights, dealing with that vaginal odour, and being very flexible for him.

 

Dress to please him and not other women

Often times we ignore the desires of that man we claim to love just because we want to make a statement among friends. I may excuse you if you are in just a dating relationship with him, but the moment you take that relationship a step further into courtship, you must start seeing yourself as the glory of that man.

Being the glory of a man means you are now to dress the way he wants and how he wants it. Don’t fix that hairstyle or lashes because they are in vogue and your friends have them on. Don’t go for a short or long dress without first knowing what he admires in women. If you go ahead dressing for your friends and not for him, chances are he may end up getting attracted to a woman who dresses the way he wants.

When I did an article in 2009 on unfaithfulness, a man called me confessing how he is into an extra marital affair just because his wife refused to dress the way he likes. According to him, he likes women in jeans, well manicured red polished nails and red lips. He said he spends so much to buy the best designer range for his girlfriend who wants to please him. He said he will stop being unfaithful the moment his wife starts dressing for him. Ladies, please don’t go on dressing for your religious leader or the society; dress for your man.

Sit with him while he eats

They will not tell you, but this is one thing they cherish. When it was just a dating relationship, you did this and much more like stroking his back when he eats. But now that he is legally yours, you feel it’s no longer important. I see women eat before or after their husband; this is wrong. Meal time is actually a time to bond with the man you love. It is not enough for you to just cook and have him eat while you do other house chores. He wants you to stay by him while he enjoys, not just the cooking, but the beautiful woman he is in love with.

The concluding part of this article comes next week. My number is strictly for sms; please bear with me.

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Posted by on October 11, 2011, 11:36 am. Filed under Columns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

59 Comments for “What He Wants From You (1)”

  1. Boogie Taliendo

    All true.

    One more thing: We just love it when our women flirt with us in public and show a little of what we are “eating’ but no one else can have!

  2. Don Emmy

    Good,good,good…..I like this.Please can you give me your facebook profile name?Heard you are on facebook or have a group there.Thanks.

  3. Women pretend before marriage,latter to expose bad behavior, hiding .

  4. Tony from Canada

    Amara
    Good write-up but you didn’t put it there for them not to NAGG and not to be over jealous and also to cook well( some women will cook rice it will look like yam pourage, If it is Eba and Egusi soup When the Man Punch the Eba in the Soup he meets the stew at his elbow).
    You also did not tell them that (once in a while)at times they should take us out on a date or we take them out and they foot the Bills. You also forgot to tell them that if their shoes,bags and cloths take Three Quarter of our wardrobe we could either sell some of them or use part of it as Collateral in the BANK .
    You also forgot to tell them that at time s when kids av not arrived you hear sweet names like (Honey,sweety,e.t.c) but when the kids come your name now change to Baba Michael or Papa chichi ( its not romantic) Lest I forget you didnt tell them that they should wear NIGHT Gown instead of Wrapper around the waist (disgusting thing)

    Amara pls dont be stingy with words tell your fellow ladies ………

    • PAT

      Hmmmm nice one….i tell them but they tell me i’m not spiritually minded…Amara thanks for confirming how i know it to be…nice one jare…

    • Robinson from Vietnam

      Mr Tony,
      I am sure you are from the eastern part of Nigeria same like me,.but I want to say that you are really a funny man,how do you expect a Nigeria lady take us out on a date,or we take them out and they foot the bills,(anyway am sure it may not be possible,
      wich of the Bank can accept their clothes,shoes,hand bags as a collateral,not Nigeria bank am sure,
      but my woman still call me sweet names,any day any time even now that kids have arrived,
      I LOVE UR COMMENT BRO,
      CARES.

  5. Lady Amara!!! Majority of us(the readers of your interesting and educative articles)just discovered today that your articles are published twice in a week(i.e)Tuesdays and Fridays.Thanks for keeping us aware. Every bit of your articles is a brand new one everyday with no duplication of any kind. This is a gospel. The true gospel of relationship for couplers,indeed religion sentiment had affected uncountable number of good homes. Lack of good sex!!! Whether christian or muslim home,the husband and the wife are always shy away to express their satisfaction to themselves in order to avoid being called names and this had tempted many men and women to practise immorality mostly in the houses of God. Reading this from LADY AMARA’S GOSPEL,it will bring about more understanding and free communication between a husband and a wife to make their love go extra miles.

  6. chief uchendu jnr okpala

    You are so good , preach on.

  7. Rafiu

    aAmara dis is too much keep up .may GOD alaways help u

  8. Concerned Ngerian

    What of when a wife continues to complain that she is tired or complain that she’s being disturbed any time she’s asked for sex? Simply put, such a woman is not a wife or she has other relationship elsewhere.

  9. JIMMY J

    Thanks for being educative, really we all need this so as to reduce the high rate of divorce and irrelevant disagreement that shartered home.
    My complain is that some women dont like reading thing like this e.g my wife

  10. Angel

    You seem to appeal to illiterates like yourself….hmmmmm

    • dan omoh

      angel u must be a DEVIL for insulting my amara……..THUNDER FIRE YOU FOR THERE….IDIOT

    • Jummy59

      Am so suprise by your comment Angel, you must be an illiterate person your self, I don’t believe that you have any understanding of the message that Amara is putting out there, may be you need to read it all over again may be you see something that you miss.

    • Amara Fan

      I think u stop being jealous and appriciate what Amara is doing.

    • Pricess

      Is sad u hate being told the truth!!!!
      Is disheartening u call urself Angel!!!!!!
      Is bad u read the whole content of the article!!!

      Why a make a public fool of urself?
      If given the chance, u wont be able to write a coherent sentence!!!!!
      (from ur comment is obvious)

      Am sure u ll login to this page again cos u know what? I know ur type!!!!!!

  11. Queen

    kip ur good work by teachin us d more about us.

  12. johnpaul

    I think there some readers here that have got gonorhea of the brain,and i think people like angel fall within dat category,and to people like tony from canada pls read in between the lines,the lady said she’ll be publishing the next part by next week.Anyway thumbs up lady amara,u make me proud.

  13. kosi

    Angel u r very stupid.Dnt u knw dat she’s tryin 2 help us.Lady Amara tnk u.More grease 2 ur elbow.

  14. BarakatUSA

    You are 100% correct Amara, go on girl friend.

  15. Emenine

    women are builder & destroyers as well,they should learn how to cut their coat according to the material available.men needs a mother,sister,best friend, for a wife.not just wife.i envy my customer who normally supply me PM news every Tuesday and Friday,when he introduce me to the lady his planing to marry,she is working with one the micro banks,but this guy is a treker do to the nature of his vendor newspaper.and how do one make a move to get/know MISS right?

  16. Holubhordun

    I was highly impreesed when I read this article.Press on Amara, keep on motivating us on what we need to know.

  17. Vincent, Unical

    Mayb angel was not referring to Amara. There was a reply b4 angel’s (from a concerned nigerian) and something tell me thats the bulls eye.

    • Pricess

      Vincent we need not make excuses……..so called Angel should be direct!
      U know what, the Bible says couples should not deny each other their bodies!!!!!!

  18. boyce

    Angel, am afraid, you just prove to everybody that you are definitely afflicted with a severe degree of intellectual sub normality. however, i sympathize with you, and also pray that God should help open your understanding.

  19. Edith

    Angel,keep your myopic ideas to yourself. Us married folks enjoy and actually learn from Amara’s write-ups. I believe your diatribe is fuelled by neglect. you’re probablly a gay(male/female) and angry b/c you folks are not talked about. Well,do the right thing!!!!!

  20. Solomon Ninye

    U jst had my day blessd by revealin dos tinx I consida d most in ma relationship….God bless u d more for ma benefit. Thumbs up!

  21. Odeyemi akinola

    Well educative and understanding to put in pratice and change way of life

  22. Nat

    Angel’s problem is inferiority complex borne out of guilty conscience.She only displayed the peak of her intelligence period.Amara, may God continue to give you wisdom.

  23. Rita Okolie

    Angel, ur brain is seriously sick,

  24. dare

    this articles is very excitments interested

  25. Agatha Ezeh

    Amara, i so much appreciate everything you said. God bless you real good. Thank you.

  26. Cynthia

    Lets just forget about angel‘s comment & i try to practise what amara has told us (both ladies and guys) to do.amara GOD shall increase u in all reimification of life,ur blessed my dear

  27. dannyal

    Thumbs up 2 u Amara. And for dat so called angelic demon, pls house pay no attention 2 her cos she is seeking one. Let her wallow in her self pity.

  28. Nice article, thump up if you actually practice these principles. along with Tony from canada, please advise them to ask us out once awhile , trust us we will foot the bills cos its not about the bills but the fun of it.
    St. Gees

  29. Dazzy

    Well done Amara 4 dis beautiful piece we have learn alot God bless u.

  30. olantun

    I love your article, it really helps alot.

  31. Nice work Amara, more greese 2 ur elbow. Also tell men dat ladies love sweet words and romantic touches like a kiss b4 going, a hold 4rm d back, a peck with a smile, etc…it kind of turn us on.

  32. Juve

    Amara well done.bt plz let we nigerian guys try 2 undastand our ladies.congrat Amara

  33. zaynarb

    Uhn,wat a touching write-up,gud work done,lady amara.may god continue 2 giv u more knowledge,wisdom &understanding.nice work

  34. Blessing.A.

    Amara tank u vry much 4 dis gospel.Dis is actualy a rhema,many of us women are ignorant of dis,dat is why we have problems in our marriages,relationship or perharps wit our spouses.I gues we’ve learnt sumtin 4rm dis.Nd as 4 angel i dnt tink she was referin 2 amara,she wz talkn 2 sum1 dat commentd b4 her.plz dnt crucify her.once again tank u amara.

  35. kelexgoody

    amara,may God gv u more grace n wisdom 2 heal homes n relatnships.

  36. luv mind

    Aunty Amara .

    Thank you so much for your article or write up, please i wish to share some idea and i need your advise urgently please………….

    i live outside the country but i wish to have your email and will be very happy if you could grant my request.

    Regard

    luv mind

  37. Good one again, but tell the ladies not to be over suspicious all the time as what is theirs is their s.

  38. yusuf

    I must confess u have done a splendid jod but, you missed out some tips. Tell them not to be stingy with to their husband of sex, anytime the man calls for it, he shoul have it. Tell them to stop comparing their men with other men in the society or even inthe nebourhood, obviously men do not like it. tell them to alway look attractive any time the man is at home. tell them

  39. JudeHassan

    Spot on. Weldone!

  40. UC

    Sounds real good. Keep it up.

  41. tarkaa

    This is educative and higly helpful for women who value happiness in mariage.Some married women feel too big or important to descend low or move up to their partner’s preference.

    • na true u talk my sista. we no go luk outside if our wives re wot d were b4 marriage. Our swt sistas outside re ready 2 giv anythg 2 make a man 4get hme,nd we re ready 2 follow dem til d end bcos d re our source of joy nd hapines.

  42. Elli

    Men being the head of a home can only mar it. They can never make it. The woman has the power to make or mar a home. This is food for thought. Respect your wife!

  43. tina o

    Nice article but I must say that everyone is good at giving ideal advice. What about the real thing? Amara, I understand you had issues in a marriage and I guess all these advice were not handy at the time.

    Ladies and gents please hold firm to your bibles…thats the only way. People can only advice even when they don’t practice what they preach. Beware!

  44. Segun

    Gud one there Amara! u did a very gud research on men…keep it up

  45. I wish I can get a lady who knows all this quality because am single and searching. Any interested lady should send me an email at goodway003@yahoo.com

  46. Manny

    Thanks for your piece. It really helps if put into practice.
    Expect criticism as not everybody likes good thing. Tell the women to be proud of their men in public and put behind all their marital wahala in the house before appearing together at occassions!

  47. Ade

    nice artcle, may God teach us bettr cause most oftn dn nt marriages hv dier peculiarities

  48. Fubara, Shed - Alberta, Canada

    Good one Amara, you hit the nail right on the head. If only our women can keep to 50% of advice herein, we will have many more happy homes. Looking forward to the concluding part.

    Tony from Canada, fun one but full of meanings. You are damn right!

  49. Xty

    Great. God bless

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