PM News Nigeria

Reasons You Are Not Married

Published on September 20, 2011 by   ·   163 Comments


You are not married not because there is no man ready for marriage as a good number of men are looking for life partners. The major reason Nigerian men are now scared of marriage is waywardness. Men are now afraid because they don’t know who to trust and also not sure if that beautiful girl they are interested in still has her womb intact.

They are also afraid because of the high mountain ladies have suddenly placed themselves on as no woman wants to date a poor man any longer but are all interested in those with good cars and houses.

A man recently told me why he does not allow his girlfriends to come to his house. According to him, he doesn’t want a case where a girl enters his house only for her to refuse leaving because of the beauty of the house and cars she will see.

Isn’t it surprising how single ladies now out-dress married women with good jobs whose husbands are very rich? You are not married because the single men around you are wondering if they will be able to meet up with your ever-demanding lifestyle. Even when they know they can afford it, what makes them believe you won’t take a walk tomorrow if anything goes wrong?

Another reason is that with your good job and salary, they are even afraid to come near you as they wouldn’t want to be turned down.

I have a female colleague, a very pretty girl who lives in her own house and drives a posh car. She also has different businesses to show for it. Recently, I advised her to calm down a bit as friends I introduce her to who ordinarily would have gone for her, all run away after meeting her and come back to me with the same word, “Amara, this one go send me go village.”

Another reason you are going to grow old in your father’s house is this: You want a ready-made man instead of a growing man with vision. Are you aware that if you have not obtained favour from God, the man will decrease instead of increasing when you enter his house? Work on your character, the words that come from your mouth, your lifestyle, the way you carry yourself, the way you dress, the places you visit and then spend time trying to find favour before God because it’s only favour that can make your husband increase the moment you step into his life.

In fact, the moment a man proposes to you, there must be some positive movements in his finance if at all you have obtained favour.

It is never your duty to find a man. While he is working trying to raise money to sustain whoever he takes home to his mother, you should get yourself busy obtaining favour from God for you to be his source of blessing. A man knows when the wife is a source of blessing and that is the only time he cherishes you.

In the previous paragraph, I said the man should take you home to his mother. I don’t understand why you get married to a man who believes it’s just between the two of you. Read the Bible; they all took their wives home to their mothers. If a man cannot take you home to his people, something is wrong. Isn’t it surprising how many of us are married without knowing our husband’s village and his mother’s bedroom? Marriage, in the African culture, is not between the man and woman alone, the two families must be involved.

Hey, you have to stop moving from one prayer house to the other in search of miracles that are not coming even after you might have emptied your pocket. Go back to your room; deal with your character and bad nature that is filled with pride and disrespect for the elderly. Cut down on frivolities and that is not all, deal with your party and aso ebi spirit. You must also deal with that thing that gets you to aimlessly move from one end of the street to the other all in search of precious souls to destroy. Change that mentality that says you use what you have to get what you want; any man you get with your ass is as filthy, unreliable and irresponsible as you are.

Common girl, go deal with yourself first before you start blaming your step mother of being the one keeping you down. Stop blaming your neighbours and friends of standing on your way to progress. I just told you the bitter truth which your Alfa, Babalawo, pastor and Imam may never tell you. Stop wasting your time chasing shadows, go and deal with yourself first before complaining.

I know of a wonderful lady who sings so well that when she comes to lead in worship, miracles take place. People love her, but this lady is unmarried till date. It is not because men don’t go to her for marriage or because she is ugly; her number one obstacle is her character. They say there are many old single ladies in our churches; I think I know the problem and not that most of them wasted their lives in frivolities only to realise the last minute that they have to run into the church where they can get a brother to marry.

I am not trying to judge anyone’s past, but the issue is that even when they join those churches, their characters don’t change. It’s really appalling how some ladies talk to men simply because they are in the same church. Some of them fight everyone in their department in church while some live their lives begging from one member to the other.

What do have to say about ladies who fight for food during church meetings? Those guys would be foolish to see the stuff you are made of and still go ahead to take you home to mama.

I always tell ladies that if by the age of 30 no man had asked to know if you are for sale, there is something wrong somewhere; its either spiritual or attitudinal, but the truth is that it is always more attitudinal than spiritual.

You have been fasting and praying and going for all levels of deliverance but it seems nothing is working. What is your character like after all the prayers and religious devotions? It is sad when I see a single girl walk up to a married woman sitting with her husband and telling the woman to get up because she was there before her. You attend functions with extra bags to pack food and drinks and when it’s time to hit the dancing floor, you do that as if there is no tomorrow. What do you expect from life when you are the source of all quarrels in your neighbourhood, church and office?

This is the moment of truth and if at all you want to be delivered, your decision to deliver yourself is the first step to your breakthrough.

Posted by on September 20, 2011, 12:01 pm. Filed under Columns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

163 Comments for “Reasons You Are Not Married”

  1. Gbemi

    I had to add this: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves. It is the gift of God, NOT BY WORKS, so that no one can boast” Eph 2:8,9.

  2. Vicky

    Amara,thanks for this truth but you have forgotten that it takes two to committ sin.Men are also guilty.Some married women are worst in character,attitude,morally.They commit adultery more than the single ladies.Single ladies be more cutious very soon u will be married.Many men are out there to deceive young girls who are innocent.May God forgive them.

  3. Attitudes

    Words of wisdom

    But why cant the ladies argue their points out without using abusive words and insults?

    90% of the comments from ladies are abusive. This is the character we are talking about. What more do we need to argue bout Amara’s post?

    God must help the men of this generation

  4. Omasiri

    Hey, you guys have all spoken well, l do appreciate your speeches JAY CANADA, please keep it up. it only takes a humble woman to accept this article from Amara, she does not meant to harm or cause pain to anybody. we need to check ourselves carefully.



  6. melb

    Jaycanada pls go and liberate ur mind,your thoughts are so myopic and I just want to puke. So called nigerian married women have a way of looking at single women and if we take a survey of this so called married women, 4 out of 10,has very bad character covered up in hypocrisy and so the husband never gets to know until they are completely trapped.amara despite d fact that she made salient points was too judgemental and it reeks of this holier than thou attitude our married women r known for, that a woman is married today does not make her a better woman with a better character than that one that is unmarried or probably even divorced. The woman Pastor Kumuyi remarried was over 60yrs and she was never married, Amara and her supporters could say she had a very bad character that was why she didn’t marry for so long. Please correct in love, it sinks better that way, who are we to judge!

  7. moni


    “You’ll be a woman filled with pride and no man can control you.”

    Haha… that says it all really doesn’t it? Pele o.

    I hope you are able to find your God-appointed doormat eventually. I also pray for your sake that she does not wake up one day and realise she has spent her time with a man so insecure he feels he has to lord it over another human being to be happy. Ignorance is bliss as they say!

    God bless you – and all the best!

  8. Amara , my guess is that you’re some judgmental self righteous ‘holier than thou’ lady. My guess sis also that you have no good career. That’s why it hurts you when women have good jobs. deal with ur issues babie. Marriage is a gift from God and it happens according to his plans. When your happens before 30 it doesnt mean that you’re better than others. Whatever happened to personal choices? and babe ” about ur comment about growing old in your father’s house” no one does that these days. Where are u from? 19th century?

  9. Sodiq

    I didn’t have much to say i tot nigeria government caused it because some girls has good heart but she has poor background and you cannot compare the way man reason to woman anyway am still searching may almighty ALLAH give us our heart desire.

  10. Clem Olusore

    I love my Amaraooooo.I know her personally,the girl is riding on and the more the haters the more she goes on in life.Nne keep showing them that you are for the top.You are divorced,so what?Dont let that stop you because I have tried to find out the truth and my friends have told me what you came out from.I love you jare.My brother’s wife is so crazy,I will make sure my brother connects her with you so you help cure her madness.Thanks for the impact on the woman I referred to you on Facebook

  11. Councellor Oghre

    Amara! I find your article interesting. But, what I think most of the respondents are not comfortable with is you “razor frankness”. Certain minds would rather dress it up like a sweet pill before “administering”. If one is thorough in reading the article, I think it is fairly balanced (not gender-wise), in substance! It is difficult to see this if one is not experimentally detached from the issue under discuss. It comes down to two things: self realisation and choice (the free gift from God Almighty!!!). There is a good side to every individual that the opposite sex can benefit from; and, this is not limited to age, skin colour, intelligence, stupidity, build, social standing, poverty, e.t.c. You may wonder why a well educated, cultured lady wil get married to a less intelligent and uneducated man; yet the marriage lasted their life time. On the other hand, two known stars, well-endowed with everything a human being can dream of might not last 6 months. Either of these two things are involved: the person (attitude), and existing natural spiritism. Control one of these, and you will be happy.


    I dont know why young girls like me dont like this article.I am single and a final year student of the University of Ibadan. This article was what changed my life. I was everything written in this article until I read it. Ladies please forget the criticisms and look deep into this article because I am sure it will affect you the way it affected me.My parents and room mate are surprised with the change in me.Girls, if there is something painful to you,check well,that is the area you need to make a change.She did not say you have a problem if you are not married at the age of thirty;she said if no man has come to ask for your hand in marriage at the age of thirty. With the little change after reading this article,my friends and I decided to turn a new leaf.My boyfriend of three years just proposed to me. Girls,please change and stop castigating the poor lady.

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